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"I sometimes lie awake at night trying to think of something funny that Richard Nixon said."
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Exlpore more Funny quotes
"Nothing's funny about someone who's successful."
"It's sad and upsetting when you see somebody crying hysterically, but at the same time it's real funny."
"I remember nearly having a fit of the giggles during the reading because dear Daniel was SO respectful and serious and I was finding the whole situation funny because I was speaking to his profile."
"I listen like mad to any conversation taking place next to me just trying to hear why this is funny. Women's restrooms are especially great. I wash my hands twice waiting for people to come in and start talking."
"Yes, I believe blue material is funny, but if that's all you've got, you're dead in the water. It's not good."
Explore more quotes by Lyn Nofziger
"I'm not a social friend of the Reagans. That's by their choice and by mine. They don't drink enough."
"Government should work to insure the rights of the individual, not plot to take them away."
"One of the things that bothers me most is the growing belief in the country that security is more important than freedom. It ain't."
"Freedom is our most precious commodity and if we are not eternally vigilant, government will take it all away. Individual freedom demands individual responsibility."
"The best thing going for us is Al Gore. I cannot conceive how the American people could elect him. On the other hand, I couldn't conceive how they could elect a Jimmy Carter or Bill Clinton - especially Clinton in '96."
"The tree of liberty needs to be watered from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants."
"The reason this country continues its drift toward socialism and big nanny government is because too many people vote in the expectation of getting something for nothing, not because they have a concern for what is good for the country."
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