"Two things are infinite, a woman's patience and her husband's mistakes."

Matshona Dhliwayo, Zimbabwean Philosopher

Humor, Patience, Mistakes, Infinity

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"Two things are infinite, a woman's patience and her husband's mistakes."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

Anthony Liccione, American Author

Humor, Trust, Mistake, Learning

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

Michael Bassey Johnson, Nigerian Philosopher

Humor, Comedy, Stupidity, Life, Love

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"

C. JoyBell C., American Author

Humor, Self, Life, Joy

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

Richelle Mead, American Author

Humor, Dance, Sex, Judgment

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Weight, Warning, Technology

"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."

Matshona Dhliwayo, Zimbabwean Philosopher

Humor, Marriage, Change, Responsibility, Life

"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"

Chuck Palahniuk, American Novelist

Humor, Death, Danger, Irony

"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."

Rick Riordan, American Novelist

Humor, Truth, Happiness, Power

"Don't ask for a girl's hand in marriage and forget to ask for her leg too."

Matshona Dhliwayo, Zimbabwean Philosopher

Humor, Marriage, Leg, Respect

"Papa, potatoes, poultry, prunes and prism, are all very good words for the lips."

Charles Dickens, English Novelist

Humor, Words

Explore more quotes by Matshona Dhliwayo

"You win minds through your brilliance. You win hearts through your tenderness. You win souls through your benevolence."

Influence, Impact, Leadership, Kindness

"Beautiful silence is better than ugly speech."

Wisdom, Silence, Speech, Beauty

"Skill gives you legs to jog, talent gives you legs to run, brilliance gives you legs to sprint, but genius gives you wings to fly."

Creativity, Skill, Talent, Brilliance, Genius

"A shrub that bears fruit deserves to be watered more than a tree that does not."

Growth, Shrub, Fruit, Water

"Fish rule the waters, but can be caught using worms. Birds rule the air, but can be caught using grain."

Strategy, Fishing, Bait, Worms, Catch

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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."

"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"

"Don't ask for a girl's hand in marriage and forget to ask for her leg too."

"Papa, potatoes, poultry, prunes and prism, are all very good words for the lips."

Explore more quotes by Matshona Dhliwayo

"You win minds through your brilliance. You win hearts through your tenderness. You win souls through your benevolence."

"Beautiful silence is better than ugly speech."

"Skill gives you legs to jog, talent gives you legs to run, brilliance gives you legs to sprint, but genius gives you wings to fly."

"Never despise a seed, one day it will rise and bloom into a forest."

"A seed does not die because you buried it, neither does a warrior."

"Eternity is a long time, but only a day when you are in love."

"Love sees more with its eyes closed than hate with its eyes open."

"A muddied diamond is better than an unsullied pebble."

"A shrub that bears fruit deserves to be watered more than a tree that does not."

"Fish rule the waters, but can be caught using worms. Birds rule the air, but can be caught using grain."