"I was in a department store and the clerk came up to me and said "do you want to lay on the couch' I said "Where's your clip board?"

Stanley Victor Paskavich, American Politician

Humor, Absurdity, Confusion, Speech

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"I was in a department store and the clerk came up to me and said "do you want to lay on the couch' I said "Where's your clip board?"

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting."

Winston Churchill, English Statesman

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"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

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"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."

Margaret Atwood, Canadian Novelist

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"This was not of the nature of a Christlike lesson for Owen Meany to learn, as he lay in the manger, that someone you hate can give you a hard-on."

John Irving, American Novelist

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"Cheap booze is a false economy."

Christopher Hitchens, American Author

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"Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft.When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Crime, Duty, Irony

"Kemp: I demonstrated conclusively this morning that invisibility--I.M: Never mind what YOU'VE DEMONSTRATED!--I'm starving, said the voice, and the night is--chilly for a man without clothes."

H. G. Wells, English Author

Humor, Observation, Survival, Humanity

"I hope you're not smoking in front of her,' Lucia says to him.'Yeah, I lie in bed and puff in her face, Lucia,' he says, irritated."

Melina Marchetta, Australian Author

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"Niagara ... is the first disappointment in the married life of many Americans who spend their honeymoon there."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

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"You humans, always eating. I'll make you soup. You can eat it while you keep working." Myrnin set aside his book and walked into the back of the lab."Don't use the same beaker you used for poisons!" Claire yelled after him. He waved a pale hand. "I mean it!"

Rachel Caine, Canadian Actress

Humor, Work, Food, Care

Explore more quotes by Stanley Victor Paskavich

"Been under treatment for PTSD and bipolar since 1992. I'm not ashamed of my illness. I've been shunned by many and I feel for those shunned, too."

Mental Health

"Every day in life we're told who this is and who that is. But when we sit we're all the same when we remove our hat."

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"If I wouldn't have spent so much time shooting spit wads at my English teacher, I'd know how to punctuate. Good thing I normally write poetry."

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"There is nothing more beautiful than the light of a Candle and the Aroma of it's Heart."

Aesthetics

"I'm half way to Heaven and half way to Hell with each breath I take in this mortal shell."

Spiritual

"Take a giant drink of natures endless stream let it spout from your mouth in words so serene."

Nature

"When you are cursed with a bipolar mind racing thoughts are the ones that you find."

Mind

"I'll never leave this Earth without a fight or at least pretend to for all of those in sight."

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"Why do they always prescribe thyroid medicine to go with the mental illness cocktails they whip up?"

Health

"Yes I'm Bipolar but I'm as normal as you except the times when my mind thinks like two."

Mental Health