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Samuel Johnson

"For a man seldom thinks with more earnestness of anything than he does of his dinner."

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"For a man seldom thinks with more earnestness of anything than he does of his dinner."

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Donna Grant

"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

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Donna Grant

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

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Donna Grant

"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."

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Donna Grant

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"

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Donna Grant

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

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Donna Grant

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."

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Donna Grant

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

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Donna Grant

"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."

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Donna Grant

"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"

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Donna Grant

"I went to the kitchen and felt-up the turkey."

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Samuel Johnson
"When men come to like a sea-life, they are not fit to live on land."
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Samuel Johnson
"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."
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Samuel Johnson
"In order that all men may be taught to speak the truth, it is necessary that all likewise should learn to hear it."
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Samuel Johnson
"I have found men to be more kind than I expected, and less just."
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Samuel Johnson
"Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance."
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Samuel Johnson
"He that fails in his endeavors after wealth or power will not long retain either honesty or courage."
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Samuel Johnson
"The trappings of a monarchy would set up an ordinary commonwealth."
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Samuel Johnson
"The future is purchased by the present."
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Samuel Johnson
"Life cannot subsist in society but by reciprocal concessions."
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Samuel Johnson
"I have always considered it as treason against the great republic of human nature, to make any man's virtues the means of deceiving him."
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