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"My advice: just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place."
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"Live a life that will make you look back in old age at your life and grin in satisfaction."
"When people ask me how come I have written over three hundred books my response to them is take advantage of time."
"The Bible is the constant fountain for faith, conduct, and inspiration from which we drink daily."
"You are given the potential to excel, whether you do or not is entirely up to you."
"Every man has been called to produce a certain number of products within the time allocated to him to live on earth and failure to hit the target would mean a wasted life."
"Discouragement is your greatest enemy."
"Go all the way and let your soul be in what you are doing and there will be no limitations."
"The problem with dreams is that they are always futuristic and gives a deceptive impression that there is still enough time to actualize them. The tragedy, however, is that you soon realize that the time you thought you had to fulfill the dreams had melted away before your very eyes."
"I'm not going to be one of those people who sits around talking about what they're going to do. I'm just going to do it. Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia."
"Find the willpower to begin work."
Explore more quotes by George Carlin
"TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out to be another day, but we can't be sure. If it happens, I'll be the first to say so. But, you know what? By that time, it'll be today again."
"Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid."
"So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family."
"Words are all we have, really. We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid. Then we assign a word to a thought and we're stuck with that word for that thought, so be careful with words. I like to think that the same words that hurt can heal. It's a matter of how you pick them."
"Y'ever notice how you never seem to get laid on Thanksgiving? I think it's because all the coats are on the bed."
"You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show you a guy who's not causing any trouble."
"No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to."
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