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Brandon Sanderson

"Be warned - Hammond does tend to be a bit optimistic about these kind of things. If the army were made up of one-legged mutes, he would praise their balance and their listening skills."

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"Be warned - Hammond does tend to be a bit optimistic about these kind of things. If the army were made up of one-legged mutes, he would praise their balance and their listening skills."

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Asa Don Brown

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

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Asa Don Brown

"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."

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Asa Don Brown

"Laughter is carbonated holiness."

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Asa Don Brown

"The Fool held his breath. On long nights on the hard flagstones he had dreamed of women like her. Although, if he really thought about it, not much like her; they were better endowed around the chest, their noses weren't so red and pointed, and their hair tended to flow more. But the Fool's libido was bright enough to tell the difference between the impossible and the conceivably attainable, and hurriedly cut in some filter circuits."

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Asa Don Brown

"D'yer see it? This finger, laddie, could send ye to meet yer Maker!Sgt. Deisenburger stared at the black and purple nail a few inches from his face. As an offensive weapon it rated quite highly, especially if it was ever used in the preparation of food."

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Asa Don Brown

"Showing off is more ridiculous in instances where the thing that is being shown off was bought on credit."

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Asa Don Brown

"It is dull, Son of Adam, to drink without eating," said the Queen presently. "What would you like best to eat?""Turkish Delight, please, your Majesty," said Edmund."

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Asa Don Brown

"Hey, guard! Ian hollered out loud. "Do you think we could get a bathroom break? The guard seemed to snicker as he pointed to the grass outside the cell. Eena smirked at how dead-on her thoughts had been after all. "Come on, Ian complained. "She can't do that, she's a girl. The soldier smiled wryly, a shrug communicating his indifference. Eena laughed in her mind. (I don't know what you think's so funny. You're the one who's gotta pee.) Oddly enough, that fact just made her laugh even more."

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Asa Don Brown

"I HAVE MADE THIS FOR YOU. She reached out and took a damp square of cardboard. Water dripped off the bottom. Somewhere in the middle, a few brown feathers seemed to have been glued on. 'Thank you. Er ... what is it?'ALBERT SAID THERE OUGHT TO BE SNOW ON IT, BUT IT APPEARS TO HAVE MELTED, said Death. IT IS, OF COURSE, A HOGSWATCH CARD.'Oh ...' THERE SHOULD HAVE BEEN A ROBIN ON IT AS WELL, BUT I HAD CONSIDERABLE DIFFICULTY IN GETTING IT TO STAY ON. 'Ah...'IT WAS NOT AT ALL COOPERATIVE.'Really ...?'IT DID NOT SEEM TO GET INTO THE HOGSWATCH SPIRIT AT ALL."

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Asa Don Brown

"The difference between your crazy and my crazy is that you don't think you're crazy."

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Brandon Sanderson
"Lightsong met the man's eyes, then smiled broadly, looking down at the God King. "My life to yours," Lifesong said. "My breath become yours."
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Brandon Sanderson
"Shallan's mental image of Jasnah Kholin was of someone almost divine. It was, upon reflection, an odd way to regard a determined atheist."
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"People can do great things. However, there are some things they just CAN'T do. I, for instance, have not been able to transform myself into a Popsicle, despite years of effort."
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"He was a man. Just a man. Yet, you always knew he'd succeed. He made you be what he wanted you to be."
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Brandon Sanderson
"I know, better than anyone else, that there are no heroes coming to save us. There are no good Epics. None of them protect us. Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely."
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Brandon Sanderson
"Pain los[es] its power when other things bec[o]me more important."
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Brandon Sanderson
"If men should read these words, let them know that power is a heavy burden. Seek not to be bound by its chains."
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Brandon Sanderson
"Good men don't become legends," he said quietly."Good men don't need to become legends." She opened her eyes, looking up at him. "They just do what's right anyway."
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Brandon Sanderson
"They didn't speak as the sun slowly sank before them. Why was it most colorful when it was about to vanish for the night? Was it angry at being forced belong the horizon? Or was it a showman, giving a performance before retiring?Why was the most colorful part of people's bodies-the brightness of their blood-hidden beneath the skin, never to be seen unless something went wrong?"
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Brandon Sanderson
"You could not stop times from changing, his mother said, no more than you could stop the surf from rolling."
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