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"In fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation Man came up with for anything until about 1926 was stupid."
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"Necessity is not an established fact, but an interpretation."
"Space is almost infinite. As a matter of fact, we think it is infinite."
"Our esteem for facts has not neutralized in us all religiousness. It is itself almost religious. Our scientific temper is devout."
"The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd."
"Almost any biographer, if he respects facts, can give us much more than another fact to add to our collection. He can give us the creative fact; the fertile fact; the fact that suggests and engenders."
"What keeps us from abandoning ourselves entirely to one vice, often, is the fact that we have several."
"Whoever wishes to keep a secret must hide the fact that he possesses one."
Explore more quotes by Dave Barry
"We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective."
"It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent."
"And so by the fifteenth century, on October 8, the Europeans were looking for a new place to try to get to, and they came up with a new concept: the West."
"American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it."
"I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories."
"The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes."
"If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland."
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