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"Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion."
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"I have read the bible, seen its errors and perfections, but the bits of lie contained therein has contaminated the truth."

"One of the reasons God did not make a lover for Himself when He made one for Adam is because He knew that fewer people would take Him seriously once He had an ex."

"A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows."

"Religion comes not where reign fundamentalism and authoritarianism."
Explore more quotes by Scott Adams

"Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results."

"You don't have to be a "person of influence" to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me."

"There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives."

"Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems."

"In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn't have to ride around with jerks."

"Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive."
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