"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."

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"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."

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"It's not all that different with the orchestra. There are orchestras that seem to be encased in dough, so that first you have to break through the normal routine, and clear out the openings."

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"Well, I think that it is complicated in that the first four albums were all with Universal so they have the rights to that and therefore it is a lot easier for them to do that period."

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"Talking about the all night concerts, I did some of the first all night concerts back in the 60's with this little harmonium, and I also had saxophone taped delays."

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Explore more quotes by Emo Philips

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"My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself."

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"I was walking down fifth avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than return it, but I thought: well, if I lost a hundred and fifty dollars, how would I feel? And I realized I would want to be taught a lesson."

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"Whatever happened to the good ole days, when children worked in factories?"

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"I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'"

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"People always ask me, "Where were you when Kennedy was shot?" Well, I don't have an alibi."

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"I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator."

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