"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."

First,

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"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."

Exlpore more First quotes

""Think simple" as my old master used to say - meaning reduce the whole of its parts into the simplest terms, getting back to first principles."

Frank Lloyd Wright, American Architect

First, Meaning, Old, Principles

"A little simplification would be the first step toward rational living, I think."

Eleanor Roosevelt, American First Lady

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"If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe."

Carl Sagan, American Scientist

First, Universe

"The first is last, and the last is first."

Joanna Southcott, English Celebrity

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"We were engaged three-and-a-half weeks after the first date."

Michael W. Smith, American Musician

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"In Braille you write your flat sign first and then your note."

George Shearing, British Musician

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"I think Col. North is first a U.S. citizen and he has the same rights as you yourself do, sir."

Fawn Hall, American Celebrity

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"This is certainly not the first case in which a merger approved in one place hasn't gone through in the other. There was a case last year where the merger between two EU companies was approved here and blocked in the U.S."

Mario Monti, Italian Public Servant

First,

"If you wish to avoid seeing a fool you must first break your looking glass."

Francois Rabelais, French Clergyman

First, Fool

"A lot of the advertisement is done by saying: first of all, have a complex about who you are."

Isabella Rossellini, Italian Actress

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Explore more quotes by Emo Philips

"Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise it's been a pretty good day."

Family

"I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them."

Night

"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."

First

"My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often."

Sex

"When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas."

Coffee

"My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing."

Computer

"I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well.""

Time

"The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks."

Evil

"I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'"

Father

"Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil."

Life