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"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."
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"I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him."
Gay
"I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'"
Father
"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."
First
"He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites."
Disaster
"I was at a bar nursing a beer. My nipple was getting quite soggy."
Beer
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."
Boxing
"People always ask me, "Where were you when Kennedy was shot?" Well, I don't have an alibi."
People
"Well, my brother says Hello. So, hooray for speech therapy."
Brother
"My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads, where they are safe."
Jokes
"I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator."
Night
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"Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does."
Author Name
Personal Development
""Think simple" as my old master used to say - meaning reduce the whole of its parts into the simplest terms, getting back to first principles."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I think my first album opened a lot of doors for me to push the freedom of speech to the limit."
Author Name
Personal Development
"One of the first groups we signed was the Fifth Dimension."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The first amp I had back in the '50s was a small Fender."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Sound is the first thing that we tune into."
Author Name
Personal Development
"First of all, the most important, that is to learn everything good that has survived from other times, and carefully to watch the bad - and throw it out."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My first jam was at Hotel Diplomat opening for Hollywood."
Author Name
Personal Development
"But then there was Hendrix, man. Jimi was really the last cat to freak me. Jimi was playing all the stuff I had in my head. I couldn't believe it, when I first heard him. Man, no one can ever do what he did with a guitar. No one can ever take his place."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I wanted a name that would put us first in the phone directory, or second if you count ABBA."
Author Name
Personal Development
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