"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."

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"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."

Exlpore more First quotes

"In the first place, Descartes stands for the most explicit and uncompromising dualism between mind and matter."

James Mark Baldwin, American Philosopher

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"If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe."

Carl Sagan, American Scientist

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"A little simplification would be the first step toward rational living, I think."

Eleanor Roosevelt, American First Lady

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"Illusion is the first of all pleasures."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

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"I think at the point when they were first starting to talk about a movie, it was a little bit different back then."

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"Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does."

George Bernard Shaw, Irish Dramatist

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"Then when I got to Hollywood, the first musical I did was Festival in 1977."

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"I had deeper, more reflective songs on the first album."

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"A practical botanist will distinguish at the first glance the plant of the different quarters of the globe and yet will be at a loss to tell by what marks he detects them."

Carolus Linnaeus, Swedish Scientist

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"I consider myself a poet first and a musician second. I live like a poet and I'll die like a poet."

Bob Dylan, American Musician

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Explore more quotes by Emo Philips

"Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps."

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"When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas."

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"I was walking down fifth avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than return it, but I thought: well, if I lost a hundred and fifty dollars, how would I feel? And I realized I would want to be taught a lesson."

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"My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing."

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"I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them."

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"Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise it's been a pretty good day."

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"I was the kid next door's imaginary friend."

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"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me."

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"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."

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"I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don't know I'm only using blanks."

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