"I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet."

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"I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet."

Exlpore more Old quotes

"In our heads we're all about 33 years old."

Doug Coupland, Canadian Author

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Thomas Fuller, English Clergyman

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"We do not quit playing because we grow old, we grow old because we quit playing."

Oliver Wendell Holmes, American Writer

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"Old and young, we are all on our last cruise."

Robert Louis Stevenson, Scottish Writer

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"No one longs to live more than someone growing old."

Sophocles, Greek Poet

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"I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair."

Erma Bombeck, American Journalist

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"Of all ghosts the ghosts of our old loves are the worst."

Arthur Conan Doyle, British Writer

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"I put a Phrygian cap on the old dictionary."

Victor Hugo, French Author

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"The Ancient Mariner would not have taken so well if it had been called The Old Sailor."

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Explore more quotes by Rita Rudner

"I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose."

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"My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives."

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"My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping."

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"It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

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"We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet."

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"Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry."

Marriage

"In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk."

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"Whenever I date a guy, I think, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'"

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"My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to."

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"I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso."

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