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Rita Rudner

"I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet."

Old,
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"I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet."

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Donna Grant

"You can always tell an old soldier by the inside of his holsters and cartridge boxes. The young ones carry pistols and cartridges; the old ones, grub."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Old and young disbelieve one another's truths."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Old and young, we are all on our last cruise."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"A new philosophy generally means in practice the praise of some old vice."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"It is better to be young in your failures than old in your successes."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"I've been performing on stage since I was six years old."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"I am too old for an eyebrow piercing but too young for an eyebrow lift."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"I was sympathetic to virtually all groups that wanted to get away from the old system."

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Personal Development

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Rita Rudner
"It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

Life

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Rita Rudner
"My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping."

Mother

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Rita Rudner
"My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head."

Age

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Rita Rudner
"I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet."

Old

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Rita Rudner
"I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them."

Care

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Rita Rudner
"To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior.""

Car

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Rita Rudner
"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."

Dogs

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Rita Rudner
"We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet."

Feet

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Rita Rudner
"I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso."

Office

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Rita Rudner
"Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid."

Men

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