"I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet."

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"I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet."

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Explore more quotes by Rita Rudner

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"Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?"

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"I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them."

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"I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso."

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"My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head."

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