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"I used to write things for friends. There was this girl I had a crush on, and she had a teacher she didn't like at school. I had a real crush on her, so almost every day I would write her a little short story where she would kill him in a different way."
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Personal Development
"At this very moment I'm behind on a compilation that Slave Labor is doing for Free Comic Book Day."
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Personal Development
"Prayer: the key of the day and the lock of the night."
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Personal Development
"In designing hardware to be used every day, it was important to keep both the human aspects and the machine in mind. What looks good also often feels good."
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Personal Development
"Let us develop the resources of our land, call forth its powers, build up its institutions, promote all its great interests, and see whether we also, in our day and generation, may not perform something worthy to be remembered."
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Personal Development
"We're trying to have the band create something beautiful that hopefully one day, 20 years from now, can be picked up by a kid and hopefully have the same effect that Neil Young had on me, or Led Zeppelin or Black Sabbath."
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Personal Development
"To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man."
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Personal Development
"So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way."
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Personal Development
"If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend."
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Personal Development
"Today everyone is a star - they're all billed as 'starring' or 'also starring'. In my day, we earned that recognition."
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Personal Development
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"But seriously, I think overall in the scheme of things winning an Emmy is not important. Let's get our priorities straight. I think we all know what's really important in life - winning an Oscar."
Life
"I was coming home from kindergarten - well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It's good for a kid to know how to make gloves."
Home
"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is."
Day
"I was raised around heterosexuals, as all heterosexuals are, that's where us gay people come from... you heterosexuals."
People
"Yeah I'm thirty-six, but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old woman, so they decided to make me thirty-two. Much more appealing somehow."
Old
"I'm on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave it, and then I'm gonna rip it off."
Approval
"You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is."
Day
"In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better."
God
"People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant."
Funny
"Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log."
Holiday
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