"Irony is wasted on the stupid."

Humor, Irony, Stupidity, Wit, Intelligence

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"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."

Mokokoma Mokhonoana, South African Philosopher

Humor, Truth, Wisdom, Life, Regret

"I think that in the future, clocks won't say three o'clock anymore. They'll just get right to the point and rename three o'clock 'Pepsi.'"

Doug Coupland, Canadian Author

Humor, Clocks, Future, Right

"I've accepted the fact I have mental illness but when my imaginary friends start calling me crazy that's where I draw the line."

Stanley Victor Paskavich, American Politician

Humor, Mental, Friend, Imagination

"Did you talk to him about it?""Oh, sure. Nothing happened, yadda yadda. The usual. But my maydar went off like crazy.""Maydar?""As in, he may be thinking about super hot sex with her. Like radar, only not as sure."

Rachel Caine, Canadian Actress

Humor, Jealousy, Doubt, Friendship

"Crap, are you thinking what I'm thinking?""I'm thinking we have about fifteen vampires and no blood," Claire said. "Is that it?""No, I was thinking we're out of chips. Of course that's what I was thinking."

Rachel Caine, Canadian Actress

Humor, Blood, Survival, Friendship

"Got a lot of sinful idears--but they seem kinda sensible."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Sin, Idea, Truth

"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Laughter, Wisdom, Mortality

"What's the difference between rain and grain? Only a g, though they both grow in the land, and they don't land but fall. What a difference a g makes!"

Ana Claudia Antunes, Brazilian Singer

Humor, Language, Observation, Life

"Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness."

Ludwig Wittgenstein, Austrian Philosopher

Humor, Cleverness

"I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing."

Jonathan Swift, Irish Writer

Humor, First, Fool, Kissing, Wonder

Explore more quotes by Oscar Wilde

"Paradoxically though it may seem, it is none the less true that life imitates art far more than art imitates life."

Art

"Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without being charming. This is a fault. Those who find beautiful meanings in beautiful things are the cultivated. For these there is hope. They are the elect to whom beautiful things mean only Beauty. There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written, or badly written. That is all."

Art

Religion

"Something was dead in each of us,and what was dead was hope."

Emotional

"A man who is master of himself can end a sorrow as easily as he can invent a pleasure."

Wisdom

"It often seems to me that art conceals the artist far more completely than it ever reveals him."

Art

"A true artist takes no notice whatever of the public. The public are to him non-existent."

Art

"And, certainly to him Life itself was the first, the greatest, of the arts, and for it all the other arts seemed to be but a preparation."

Art

"Truth in art is the unity of a thing with itself."

Art

"It's beauty that captures your attention, personality that captures your heart.."

Love

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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."

"I think that in the future, clocks won't say three o'clock anymore. They'll just get right to the point and rename three o'clock 'Pepsi.'"

"I've accepted the fact I have mental illness but when my imaginary friends start calling me crazy that's where I draw the line."

"Did you talk to him about it?""Oh, sure. Nothing happened, yadda yadda. The usual. But my maydar went off like crazy.""Maydar?""As in, he may be thinking about super hot sex with her. Like radar, only not as sure."

"Crap, are you thinking what I'm thinking?""I'm thinking we have about fifteen vampires and no blood," Claire said. "Is that it?""No, I was thinking we're out of chips. Of course that's what I was thinking."

"Got a lot of sinful idears--but they seem kinda sensible."

"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

"What's the difference between rain and grain? Only a g, though they both grow in the land, and they don't land but fall. What a difference a g makes!"

"Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness."

"I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing."

Explore more quotes by Oscar Wilde

"Paradoxically though it may seem, it is none the less true that life imitates art far more than art imitates life."

"My Salome is a mystic the sister SalammbA - a Saint ThA©rA se who worships the moon."

"Something was dead in each of us,and what was dead was hope."

"A man who is master of himself can end a sorrow as easily as he can invent a pleasure."

"It often seems to me that art conceals the artist far more completely than it ever reveals him."

"A true artist takes no notice whatever of the public. The public are to him non-existent."

"And, certainly to him Life itself was the first, the greatest, of the arts, and for it all the other arts seemed to be but a preparation."

"Truth in art is the unity of a thing with itself."

"It's beauty that captures your attention, personality that captures your heart.."