"Please don't cook me, kind sirs! I am a good cook myself, and cook better than I cook, if you see what I mean."

Humor, Cooking, Kindness, Skill

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"Please don't cook me, kind sirs! I am a good cook myself, and cook better than I cook, if you see what I mean."

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"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Procrastination, Delay, Action

"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."

Margaret Atwood, Canadian Novelist

Humor, Escape, Solitude, Space, Privacy

"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"

Rick Riordan, American Novelist

Humor, Truth, Wisdom, Power

"I always try to cheer myself up by singing when i get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Singing, Sadness, Voice

"When you love someone, you don't care that she ate your sandwich. You only hope she found it delicious."

Richelle E. Goodrich, American Poet

Humor, Love, Happiness, Today, Truth

"Looking for a wife is like fishing; before you go, make sure you don't have a hole in your net."

Matshona Dhliwayo, Zimbabwean Philosopher

Humor, Marriage, Fishing, Perspective

"Using a metaphor in front of a man as unimaginative as Ridcully was like ared flag to a bu... was like putting something very annoying in front ofsomeone who was annoyed by it."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Happiness, Today, Wisdom

"Some kleptomaniacs do not steal things only; they also, while some only, steal lovers."

Mokokoma Mokhonoana, South African Philosopher

Humor, Truth, Life, Power, Wisdom

"Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Safety, Cleverness, Animals

"Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely."

P. J. O'Rourke, American Comedian

Humor, Cleanliness, Observation, Realism

Explore more quotes by J. R. R. Tolkien

"On their deathbed men will speak true, they say."

Truth, Death, Life, End

"Well, here at last, dear friends, on the shores of the Sea comes the end of our fellowship in Middle-earth. Go in peace! I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil."

Friendship, Fellowship, Peace, Tears, Evil

"A great dread fell on him, as if he was awaiting the pronouncement of some doom that he had long foreseen and vainly hoped might after all never be spoken. An overwhelming longing to rest and remain at peace by Bilbo's side in Rivendell filled all his heart. At last with an effort he spoke, and wondered to hear his own words, as if some other will was using his small voice. "I will take the Ring," he said, "though I do not know the way."

Emotion, Fear, Longing, Decision, Will

"A King will have his way in his own hall, be it folly or wisdom."

Leadership, Power, Wisdom, Folly, Authority

"I thought all the trees were whispering to each other, passing news and plots along in an unintelligible language; and the branches swayed and groped without any wind. They do say the trees do actually move, and can surround strangers and hem them."

Poetry, Love, Peace, Hope, Happiness

"These folk are hewers of trees and hunters of beasts; therefore we are their unfriends, and if they will not depart we shall afflict them in all ways that we can."

Conflict, Trees, Nature, War

"Never laugh at live dragons."

Purpose, Faith, Courage, Strength, Hope

35

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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."

"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"

"I always try to cheer myself up by singing when i get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems."

"When you love someone, you don't care that she ate your sandwich. You only hope she found it delicious."

"Looking for a wife is like fishing; before you go, make sure you don't have a hole in your net."

"Using a metaphor in front of a man as unimaginative as Ridcully was like ared flag to a bu... was like putting something very annoying in front ofsomeone who was annoyed by it."

"Some kleptomaniacs do not steal things only; they also, while some only, steal lovers."

"Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."

"Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely."

Explore more quotes by J. R. R. Tolkien

"On their deathbed men will speak true, they say."

"Well, here at last, dear friends, on the shores of the Sea comes the end of our fellowship in Middle-earth. Go in peace! I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil."

"A King will have his way in his own hall, be it folly or wisdom."

"I thought all the trees were whispering to each other, passing news and plots along in an unintelligible language; and the branches swayed and groped without any wind. They do say the trees do actually move, and can surround strangers and hem them."

"I will not say: do not weep, for not all tears are an evil."

"May it be a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out."

"Perhaps it is better not to tell what you wish. if you cannot have it."

"These folk are hewers of trees and hunters of beasts; therefore we are their unfriends, and if they will not depart we shall afflict them in all ways that we can."

"Never laugh at live dragons."