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J. R. R. Tolkien

"Please don't cook me, kind sirs! I am a good cook myself, and cook better than I cook, if you see what I mean."

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"Please don't cook me, kind sirs! I am a good cook myself, and cook better than I cook, if you see what I mean."

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Assegid Habtewold

"Sometimes absurd logic can be amusing and heart-touching."

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Personal Development

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"Alimony: the cash surrender value of a husband."

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Assegid Habtewold

"Beware of giggle grins, they are highly contagious."

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Assegid Habtewold

"When I reprimanded my son for hair like Michael Jackson he said: "I don't see the problem you wear yours like Michael Jordan.""

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Assegid Habtewold

"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"

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Assegid Habtewold

"Probably went swimming and got eaten by a pineapple."

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Assegid Habtewold

"Monkeys who very sensibly refrain from speech, lest they should be set to earn their livings."

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Assegid Habtewold

"Igor?' said Moist. 'You have an Igor?'Oh, yes,' said Hubert. 'That's how I get this wonderful light. They know the secret of storing lightning in jars! But don't let that worry you, Mr Lipspick. Just because I'm employing an Igor and working in a cellar doesn't mean I'm some sort of madman, ha ha ha!'Ha ha,' agreed Moist.Ha hah hah!,' said Hubert. 'Hahahahahaha!! Ahahahahahahhhhh!!!!!-'Bent slapped him on the back. Hubert coughed.Sorry about that, it's the air down here,' he mumbled."

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Assegid Habtewold

"This was beyond a joke. This had moved beyond foolishness, slipped over the line into genuine 24 karat Jesus-Christ-I-fucked-up-bigtime territory."

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Assegid Habtewold

"Some kid asked what a dilemma is. And I replied: When a starving man has to choose between a plate of food, and, a roll of toilet paper."

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J. R. R. Tolkien
"It's like in the great stories Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn't want to know the end, because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end it's only a passing thing this shadow, even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines it'll shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you, that meant something even if you were too small to understand why. But I think Mr. Frodo, I do understand, I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going because they were holding on to something."

Hope

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J. R. R. Tolkien
"My armor is like tenfold shields, my teeth are swords, my claws spears, the shock of my tail a thunderbolt, my wings a hurricane, and my breath death!"

Fantasy

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J. R. R. Tolkien
"There came a time near dawn on the eve of spring, and Luthien danced upon a green hill; and suddenly she began to sing. Keen, heart-piercing was her song as the song of the lark that rises from the gates of night and pours its voice among the dying stars, seeing the sun behind the walls of the world; and the song of Luthien released the bonds of winter, and the frozen waters spoke, and flowers sprang from the cold earth where he feet had passed. Then the spell of silence fell from Beren, and he called to her, crying Tinuviel; and the woods echoed the name."

Nature

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J. R. R. Tolkien
"When Summer lies upon the world, and in a noon of gold, Beneath the roof of sleeping leaves the dreams of trees unfold;When woodland halls are green and cool, and wind is in the West, Come back to me! Come back to me, and say my land is best!"

Nature

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J. R. R. Tolkien
"Some who have read the book, or at any rate reviewed it, have found it boring, absurd, or contemptible; and I have no reason to complain, since I have similar opinions of their work, or of the kinds of writing that they evidently prefer."

Criticism

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J. R. R. Tolkien
"Nobody believes me when I say that my long book is an attempt to create a world in which a form of language agreeable to my personal aesthetic might seem real. But it is true."

Literature

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J. R. R. Tolkien
"Elvish singing is not a thing to miss, in June under the stars, not if you care for such things."

Nature

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J. R. R. Tolkien
"This thing all things devours:Birds, beasts, trees, flowers;Gnaws iron, bites steel;Grinds hard stones to meal;Slays king, ruins town,And beats high mountain down."

Change

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J. R. R. Tolkien
"Give with a free hand, but give only of your own."

Generosity

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J. R. R. Tolkien
"A King will have his way in his own hall, be it folly or wisdom."

Leadership

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