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"I was in advertising for years. That was cushy, you know? It's pretty cushy in a lot of ways, but I hated it."
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"A good ad which is not run never produces sales."
"Junk is the ideal product... the ultimate merchandise. No sales talk necessary. The client will crawl through a sewer and beg to buy."
"The most important word in the vocabulary of advertising is TEST. If you pretest your product with consumers, and pretest your advertising, you will do well in the marketplace."
"The future of advertising is the Internet."
"Too many ads that try not to go over the reader's head end up beneath his notice."
"I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second."
"Advertising is the very essence of democracy."
"You know why Madison Avenue advertising has never done well in Harlem? We're the only ones who know what it means to be Brand X."
"Advertising is what you do when you can't go see somebody. That's all it is."
Explore more quotes by Augusten Burroughs
"When people meet me, many times they're very surprised because they expect someone who is kind of wacky with seven piercings and very hip and cool and New York City, and I'm not."
"I think writers tend to be experience junkies, and I think they also tend to want to be on the outside looking in."
"The secret to being a writer is that you have to write. It's not enough to think about writing or to study literature or plan a future life as an author. You really have to lock yourself away, alone, and get to work."
"I was on the cover of a lot of newspapers. I was on the cover of USA Today for every single day for a month. I was on the masthead, so I tend to get recognized a lot, and in weird places. It's always flattering, and it's always odd. It's always at the worst possible time."
"My parents had this relationship that was really terrifying. I mean, the level of hatred that they had, and the level of physical abuse - my mother would beat up my father, basically - and I think I was drawn to images on television that were bright and reflective."
"I can't tell you how much I love Target and Costco, that kind of culture, because it's something I never felt a part of. I've always felt like a tourist because I have never fit in anywhere."
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