"When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat."

America,

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"When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat."

Exlpore more America quotes

"America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased."

P. J. O'Rourke, American Comedian

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"England and America are two countries separated by the same language."

George Bernard Shaw, Irish Dramatist

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"In America you need a bodyguard to go out."

Catherine Deneuve, French Actress

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"An asylum for the sane would be empty in America."

George Bernard Shaw, Irish Dramatist

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"America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there."

Will Rogers, American Actor

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"America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few."

Will Rogers, American Actor

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"Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

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"Taking the entire globe, if North America and Western Europe can be called the 'cities of the world', then Asia, Africa and Latin America constitute 'the rural areas of the world'."

Lin Biao, Chinese Politician

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"What is going on in America is extreme. The youth cult, they worship youth so much it's almost paranoid. And LA is the Mecca of it all; they're taking it to the hilt."

Billie Joe Armstrong, American Musician

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"I apologize to coalition forces and all the families, detainees, the families, America and all the soldiers."

Lynndie England, American Criminal

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Explore more quotes by George Carlin

"I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect."

Hell

"There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords."

Expression

"He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly."

Humor

"Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty.I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be."

Perspective

"Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?"

Crime

"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck."

Soul

"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things."

Pet

"When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands."

Life

"Gotta have my make up, in case I run into Joey and he wants to beat the shit out of me. Gotta look my best! Maybe he'll punch me repeatedly in the kidneys and the stomach so it doesn't mark up my face. He's so thoughtful!"

Humor

"This is a lttle prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess if they are going to force those kids to pray in schools they might as well have a nice prayer like this: Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands, thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. Crown thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. Amen and Awomen."

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