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"When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat."
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"America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few."
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Personal Development
"America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there."
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Personal Development
"In America you need a bodyguard to go out."
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Personal Development
"America's best buy is a telephone call to the right man."
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Personal Development
"There's something almost adolescent about Whitman's paean to everything that was and remains good about America."
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Personal Development
"I apologize to coalition forces and all the families, detainees, the families, America and all the soldiers."
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Personal Development
"To be black and an intellectual in America is to live in a box. On the box is a label, not of my own choosing."
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Personal Development
"I went to America on holiday when I was 17 and, before I knew it, I'd been signed up by an agency and had these obligations I didn't understand, but which I couldn't say no to. This industry chose me. But I did choose to make it fulfilling."
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Personal Development
"Watching the scenes out of New Orleans, if you turn down the sound it could be the Sudan or any Third World country. But it's not. it's the United States of America."
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Personal Development
"Even in political considerations, now-a-days, you have stronger motives to feel interested in the fate of Europe than in the fate of the Central or Southern parts of America."
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"The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."
Time
"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck."
Soul
"I was a hip kid. When I saw Bambi it was the midnight show."
Memory
"Do you know why hurricanes have names instead of numbers? To keep the killing personal. No one cares about a bunch of people killed by a number. '200 Dead as Number Three Slams Ashore' is not nearly as interesting a headline as 'Charlie kills 200.' Death is much more satisfying and entertaining if you personalize it.Me, I'm still waitin' for Hurricane Ed. Old Ed wouldn't hurt ya, would he? Sounds kinda friendly. 'Hell no, we ain't evacuatin'. Ed's comin'!"
Reflection
"I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions."
Thought
"I'm not a person who thinks they can have it all, but I certainly feel that with a bit of effort and guile I should be able to have more than my fair share."
Success
"As it stands right now, I lead Richard Pryor in heart attacks, two to one. However, Richard still leads me, one to nothing, in burning yourself up."
Health
"My mother would say, 'Why are you always playing alone?' And I would say, 'I'm not playin', Ma. I'm fuckin' serious!"
Childhood
"TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out to be another day, but we can't be sure. If it happens, I'll be the first to say so. But, you know what? By that time, it'll be today again."
Life
"When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands."
Life
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