"When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat."

America,

45

Create Your Own Wallpaper

Standard

Customized

"When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat."

Exlpore more America quotes

"America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there."

Will Rogers, American Actor

America, Inventions, Nation, Nothing

"America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased."

P. J. O'Rourke, American Comedian

America,

"I was born in Europe... and I've traveled all over the world. I can tell you that there is no place, no country, that is more compassionate, more generous, more accepting, and more welcoming than the United States of America."

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Austrian Actor

America, Country, Europe, states

"America makes up its own mind about what it wants to see."

Ajay Naidu, American Actor

America, Mind

"Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America's biggest export is now the Oscar."

Billy Crystal, American Comedian

America, Now

"Slavery has never been abolished from America's way of thinking."

Nina Simone, American Musician

America, Slavery, Thinking

"I've broken my nose, I've broken ribs. You name it. In fact, we just got back from South America, and I fell over a monitor speaker on the stage and almost ended up in the front row of the audience. I managed to sprain my wrist on that one but luckily nothing was broken."

Keith Emerson, British Musician

America, Fact, Name, Nothing

"I think I came back from America a funnier and nicer person than I went."

Patrick Stewart, English Actor

America,

"I get all fired up about aging in America."

Willard Scott, American Entertainer

America,

"I received an OBE from the Queen, which probably doesn't mean anything in America but is quite nice in England - the Order of the British Empire for services to drama."

Joan Collins, American Actress

America, Drama, England, Order

Explore more quotes by George Carlin

"Religion is just mind control."

Religion

"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."

Evil

"I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work."

Time

"Words are all we have, really. We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid. Then we assign a word to a thought and we're stuck with that word for that thought, so be careful with words. I like to think that the same words that hurt can heal. It's a matter of how you pick them."

Philosophy

"Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money."

Politics

"How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies."

Philosophy

"The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going."

Family

"Fuck rational thought."

Philosophy

"I read that Monica Seles got stabbed. And although I have nothing against Monica Seles, I'm glad somebody in sports got stabbed. I like the idea of it; it's good entertainment. If we're lucky, it'll spread through sports. And show business, too! Wouldn't you like to see a guy jump up on stage and stab some famous singer? Especially a real shitty pop singer? Maybe they'll even start stabbing comedians. Fuck it, I'm ready! I never perform without my can of mace. I have a switchblade knife, too. I'll cut your eye out and go right on telling jokes."

Reality

"I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood."

Symbol