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"When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat."
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"The innovative spirit was America's strongest attribute, transforming everything into a brave new world, but there lingered an insecurity about the arts."
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Personal Development
"In America you need a bodyguard to go out."
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Personal Development
"America is a place where you can be born into a low-income household but still lift yourself up, and it doesn't matter what color you are."
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Personal Development
"When I was doing jazz concerts in America, I would use the biggest names I could find."
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Personal Development
"I'm for catching every Japanese in America, Alaska, and Hawai'i now and putting them in concentration camps."
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Personal Development
"If a man is happy in America, it is considered he is doing something wrong."
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Personal Development
"It was a mystery to me, how the tuning was, or the style seemed to come out of nowhere, it obviously had roots in America going way back, there was nothing like it for me I'd ever seen before."
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Personal Development
"I would like to see America some day."
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Personal Development
"My junior high was dreadful. I see a lot of my fellow alumni on America's Most Wanted."
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Personal Development
"Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America's biggest export is now the Oscar."
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"You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar."
Eating
"The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept."
Answers
"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"
Driving
"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things."
Pet
"When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent."
Work
"I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam."
People
"Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town."
Cause
"One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like."
Deserted
"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death."
Death
"When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands."
Life
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