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Henry Ward Beecher

"Good-humor makes all things tolerable."

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"Good-humor makes all things tolerable."

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A.E. Samaan

"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

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A.E. Samaan

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

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A.E. Samaan

"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."

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A.E. Samaan

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"

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A.E. Samaan

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

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A.E. Samaan

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."

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A.E. Samaan

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

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A.E. Samaan

"Comedy strikes here... just to reduce pressure and depression."

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A.E. Samaan

"They're both bungholes who think they're too noble to shit."

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A.E. Samaan

"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."

Explore more quotes by Henry Ward Beecher

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Henry Ward Beecher
"A man that does not know how to be angry does not know how to be good."
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Henry Ward Beecher
"It is one of the severest tests of friendship to tell your friend his faults. So to love a man that you cannot bear to see a stain upon him, and to speak painful truth through loving words, that is friendship."
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Henry Ward Beecher
"Love is the river of life in the world."
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Henry Ward Beecher
"Of all the music that reached farthest into heaven, it is the beating of a loving heart."
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Henry Ward Beecher
"Next to ingratitude the most painful thing to bear is gratitude."
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Henry Ward Beecher
"The Church is not a gallery for the exhibition of eminent Christians, but a school for the education of imperfect ones."
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Henry Ward Beecher
"God appoints our graces to be nurses to other men's weaknesses."
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Henry Ward Beecher
"Every charitable act is a stepping stone toward heaven."
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Henry Ward Beecher
"You cannot sift out the poor from the community. The poor are indispensable to the rich."
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Henry Ward Beecher
"It is not the going out of port, but the coming in, that determines the success of a voyage."
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