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"Those modern analysts they charge so much! In my day for five marks Freud himself would treat you. For ten marks he would treat you and press your pants. For fifteen marks Freud would let you treat him - that included a choice of any two vegetables."
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"I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox."
Love
"If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank."
God
"I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib."
Parenting
"The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small."
Food
"My one regret in life is that I am not someone else."
Life
"Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness."
Education
"Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable."
Life
"Seventy percent of success in life is showing up."
Life
"What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?"
Dream
"I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys."
Car
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"The bowl is warmer than the soup."
Author Name
Personal Development
"No writer has an imaginative power richer than what the streets offer."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Good God. Men everywhere."
Author Name
Personal Development
"While humans play God, dogs learn from their masters."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It's strange to see people you don't know well in the morning, with sleepy eyes and pillow creases in their cheeks."
Author Name
Personal Development
"She was a most wonderful woman for prowling about the house. How she got from story to story was a mystery beyond solution. A lady so decorous in herself, and so highly connected, was not to be suspected of dropping over the banisters or sliding down them, yet her extraordinary facility of locomotion suggested the wild idea. Another noticeable circumstance in Mrs. Sparsit was, that she was never hurried. She would shoot with consummate velocity from the roof to the hall, yet would be in full possession of her breath and dignity on the moment of her arrival there. Neither was she ever seen by human vision to go at a great pace."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Taking a deep breath, I shake my head and find Judge staring at me. "Reason number 106 why dogs are smarter than humans," I say. "Once you leave the litter, you sever contact with your mothers."
Author Name
Personal Development
"A cat is a cat."
Author Name
Personal Development
"And only after he said it did he realize that among the countless suicides he could remember, this was the first with cyanide that had not been caused by the sufferings of love. Then something changed in the tone of his voice."And when you do find one, observe with care, he said to the intern:"they almost always have crystals in their heart."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Arcadio had seen her many times working in her parents' small food store but he had never taken a good look at her because she had that rare virtue of never existing completely except at the opportune moment."
Author Name
Personal Development
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