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Groucho Marx

"I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members."

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"I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members."

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Donna Grant

"Often people display a curious respect for a man drunk, rather like the respect of simple races for the insane... There is something awe-inspiring in one who has lost all inhibitions."

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"The last resort of kings, the cannonball. The last resort of the people, the paving stone."

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"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."

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"There are bad people who would be less dangerous if they were quite devoid of goodness."

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"There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating - people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing."

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"We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones."

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"Some people break promises for the pleasure of breaking them."

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"I do give books as gifts sometimes, when people would rather have one than a new Ferrari."

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"If something in your writing gives support to people in their lives, that's more than just entertainment-which is what we writers all struggle to do, to touch people."

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"Perhaps being old is having lighted rooms inside your head, and people in them, acting. People you know, yet can't quite name."

Explore more quotes by Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
"Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough."
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Groucho Marx
"I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."
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Groucho Marx
"Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does."
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Groucho Marx
"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies."
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Groucho Marx
"There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook."
Man,
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Groucho Marx
"Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him."
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Groucho Marx
"From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it."
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Groucho Marx
"A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke."
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Groucho Marx
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
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Groucho Marx
"Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know."
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