"I threatened to kung fu you. Oh my God."

Humor, Threat, Expression, Truth

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"I threatened to kung fu you. Oh my God."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting."

Winston Churchill, English Statesman

Humor, Communication, Life, Patience

"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Procrastination, Delay, Action

"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."

Margaret Atwood, Canadian Novelist

Humor, Escape, Solitude, Space, Privacy

"This was not of the nature of a Christlike lesson for Owen Meany to learn, as he lay in the manger, that someone you hate can give you a hard-on."

John Irving, American Novelist

Humor, Observation, Religion, Truth

"Cheap booze is a false economy."

Christopher Hitchens, American Author

Humor, Economy, Choice, Alcohol

"Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft.When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Crime, Duty, Irony

"Kemp: I demonstrated conclusively this morning that invisibility--I.M: Never mind what YOU'VE DEMONSTRATED!--I'm starving, said the voice, and the night is--chilly for a man without clothes."

H. G. Wells, English Author

Humor, Observation, Survival, Humanity

"I hope you're not smoking in front of her,' Lucia says to him.'Yeah, I lie in bed and puff in her face, Lucia,' he says, irritated."

Melina Marchetta, Australian Author

Humor, Observation, Life, Interaction

"Niagara ... is the first disappointment in the married life of many Americans who spend their honeymoon there."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Disappointment, Marriage, Travel, America

"You humans, always eating. I'll make you soup. You can eat it while you keep working." Myrnin set aside his book and walked into the back of the lab."Don't use the same beaker you used for poisons!" Claire yelled after him. He waved a pale hand. "I mean it!"

Rachel Caine, Canadian Actress

Humor, Work, Food, Care

Explore more quotes by Jill Shalvis

"God save her from annoying Alphas."

Humor

"Men exist because a vibrator can't fix a flat tire. On second thought, I should just buy a AAA card..."

Humor

"Never do anything that you don't want to have to explain to 9-1-1 personnel."

Safety

"I don't want to dig him or his sexy self. But I keep losing my clothes when I'm with him."

Relationship

"There was the amount of time you'd known someone and then there was the way you'd spent that time."

Relationship

"If she'd thought the oncoming storm outside was crazy, it was nothing compared to what happened between her and Finn every time they so much as looked at each other."

Romance

"Just remember, there's not a lot of softness in his life, or room for weakness-of which you're definitely one. He has absolutely no idea what to do with you, and as an action guy, that's confusing to him. So maybe think about taking it easy on him. Even just a little bit."

Relationship

"Finn was different.And he was different because she wanted him in her life in a way she hadn't wanted anyone for a very long time.Maybe ever."

Relationship

"Ben was in his truck, window down, idling at the curb, dark lenses hiding his eyes from her, looking effortlessly big and badass.The way she wished she felt."

Emotion

"You only live once, right?""Not true," Quinn said, "you live every day. You only die once."

Mortality