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Exlpore more Satire quotes
"U.S. News Organizations observe the anniversary of September 11 with investigations about the nation's continuing vulnerability to terrorism. First, the New York Daily News reports that two of its reporters carried box cutters, razor knives, and pepper spray on fourteen commercial flights without getting caught. Then ABC News reports that it smuggled fifteen pounds of uranium into New York City. Then Fox News reports that it flew Osama bin Laden to Washington, D.C., and videotaped him touring the White House."
"The difficulty with humourists is that they will mix what they believe with what they don't whichever seems likelier to win an effect."
"I picked up one of the books and flipped through it. Don't get me wrong, I like reading. But some books should come with warning labels: Caution: contains characters and plots guaranteed to induce sleepiness. Do not attempt to operate heavy machinery after ingesting more than one chapter. Has been known to cause blindness, seizures and a terminal loathing of literature. Should only be taken under the supervision of a highly trained English teacher. Preferably one who grades on the curve."
"I'm just trying to portray what I find ironic or humorous."
"Yeah, okay. You're right. I was having dinner with Zombie Carl the other night. You know, steak, rare, and a bottle of vintage type A. He told me all his secrets, but too bad for you I promised him I wouldn't tell. In exchange I asked him to gather his best undead buddies and stalk me through my friend's yard. And oh, yeah, it was totally fine if they wanted to use me as an all-night-dinner buffet, because having organs is SO last year."
Explore more quotes by Brandon Sanderson
"Sometimes Vin imagined she was like the ash, or the wind, or the mist itself. A thing without thought, capable of simply being, not thinking, caring, or hurting. Then she could be...free."
"You'll want something mid-range. A 5.56 all right?""I suppose.""AR-15?""Ugh. AR-15? I'd rather not have my gun break down on me every second week." Besides, every wannabe and their dog had an M16 or M4 variant these days."G7.""Not accurate enough.""FAL?""A 7.62? Maybe," I said. "Though I hate the triggers.""As picky as a woman with her shoes," Abraham grumbled."Hey," I said. "That's insulting." I knew plenty of women who were pickier with their guns than they were with their shoes."
"Never go on a date unarmed. Words of wisdom from my father. Well, my foster father. I was an orphan, of course. The best kings always are."
"To live is to have worries and uncertainties. Keep them inside, and they will destroy you for certain--leaving behind a person so callused that emotion can find no root in his heart."
"Brightlord Adolin insisted. So long as you were in here, he wouldn't leave. We tried to stop him, but the man's a prince. We can't storming make him do anything, not even leave. He locked himself away in the cell and we just had to live with it."
"A person needed to experience real danger or they would never find joy in excelling. There had to be a risk of failure, the chance to die."
"I'm sorry that your mystical, godlike powers do not instantly work as you would like them to."
"Be warned - Hammond does tend to be a bit optimistic about these kind of things. If the army were made up of one-legged mutes, he would praise their balance and their listening skills."
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