"Fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class - Hope your surgery went well!"

Humor, Medicine, Irony, Health

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"Fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class - Hope your surgery went well!"

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Procrastination, Delay, Action

"When you love someone, you don't care that she ate your sandwich. You only hope she found it delicious."

Richelle E. Goodrich, American Poet

Humor, Love, Happiness, Today, Truth

"Some kleptomaniacs do not steal things only; they also, while some only, steal lovers."

Mokokoma Mokhonoana, South African Philosopher

Humor, Truth, Life, Power, Wisdom

"You know, Aunt Tasha makes jokes about how youE1d actually be a better queen than the others, except sometimes . . . I donE1t think sheE1s joking."

Richelle Mead, American Author

Humor, Jokes, Comparison, Family

"A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water."

Mokokoma Mokhonoana, South African Philosopher

Humor, Truth, Life, Happiness

"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"

John Green, American Author

Humor, Social, Truth, Life

"Some people make spectacles of themselves with a couple of glasses."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Behavior, Society, Life

"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."

Criss Jami, American Philosopher

Humor, Truth, Wisdom, Life, Power

"It's not that I really cheat at golf. I play for my health and a low score makes me feel better."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Golf, Health, Cheating

"If you're brighter than a lightning bug, don't show your ass."

Stanley Victor Paskavich, American Politician

Humor, Wisdom, Ego, Intelligence

Explore more quotes by Simone Elkeles

"This connection we have isn't going away, it's only getting stronger. Because the more I spend time with her, the closer I want to be."

Romance

"If my name was Richard, I'd go by Richard or Rich...not Dick. Hell I'd even settle for being called Chard."

Identity

"Hey, Carlos,' the Professor says when he walks in. 'How was REACH?''It sucked.''Can you be more specific?' my guardian asks.'It really sucked,' I elaborate, sarcasm dripping from every word."

Dialogue

"And my piece of advice is...don't flirt with any of the female instructors. They all have access to weapons bigger than yours."

Humor

"I thought we were gonna take this relationship slow.''A back rub is harmless.'My eyes roam over her kick-ass bikini-covered bod. 'I'll have you know I've been intimate with girls wearin' a lot more."

Affection

"Snakes don't have fuckin' legs, so how was I supposed to think there'd be one hidin' in the face of a damn rock that's ten feet below the summit?"

Adventure

"I wish I could help you' I whisper.You are,' he murmurs against my knee. 'just dont leave me, okay? Everyone leaves me."

Emotion

"What's with all those tattoos? Makes you look like a hooligan.'I suspect I am a hooligan."

Identity

"Can I request another peer guide, One who isn't so happy to be at school at 7:30 a.m.?"

Teenager

"Alex and Carlos-the tag team from hell. They're the last people I need shit from right now. If they decide to trail me, too, I'll have an entire entourage.'I'm fine.'Then sit up and talk to us.'Okay, in that case I'm not fine. Go away. I moan. 'Unless you want me to puke all over you."

Conflict