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"Humor is a means of obtaining pleasure in spite of the distressing effects that interface with it."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
Author Name
Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
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Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
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Personal Development
"I went to the kitchen and felt-up the turkey."
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Personal Development
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"Just as no one can be forced into belief, so no one can be forced into unbelief."
Trust
"The psychoanalysis of neurotics has taught us to recognize the intimate connection between wetting the bed and the character trait of ambition."
Character
"Whoever loves becomes humble. Those who love have, so to speak, pawned a part of their narcissism."
Love
"Just as a cautious businessman avoids investing all his capital in one concern, so wisdom would probably admonish us also not to anticipate all our happiness from one quarter alone."
Happiness
"A certain degree of neurosis is of inestimable value as a drive, especially to a psychologist."
Psychology
"I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection."
Family
"Anatomy is destiny."
Destiny
"We have long observed that every neurosis has the result, and therefore probably the purpose, of forcing the patient out of real life, of alienating him from actuality."
Life
"Dreams are often most profound when they seem the most crazy."
Dream
"The behavior of a human being in sexual matters is often a prototype for the whole of his other modes of reaction in life."
Behavior
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