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"Did the Ancient Greeks ever write anything funny-like slapstick? I mean, I think I speak for everyone when I say that there's nothing wrong with a little bit of well-written physical comedy."
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"Laughter isn't a sign of insanity but a shield against it."
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Personal Development

"Sometimes the craziest laugh in the world is the only one that will save your sanity."
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Personal Development

"When you laugh, you are no longer a mind, but a heart."
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Personal Development

"Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face."
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"Don't take life too seriously - learn to laugh at yourself."
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"I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose."
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"Shared laughter is erotic too."
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Personal Development

"Only laughter makes a man rich, but the laughter has to be blissful."
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"We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist."
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"The most wasted day of all is that on which we have not laughed."
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"Don't take this the wrong way, but Australians have a LOT of bitches on their cashola."
Social

"I'm almost afraid to tell you. Let's put it this way: clean toilets are the least of your problems in this country."
Observation

"Turns out rolling your eyes in a bar when 'Land Down Under' plays is like someone belching during the Star Spangled Banner in America."
Sensitivity

"Oh, and Mr. Montgomery? I think I counted about four dozen important-sounding words and almost no substance at all in that explanation. I don't think you should close the door on your diplomatic career entirely."
Criticism

"Speaking of your eyeballs, dear brother,I overheard some girls talking about you in the restroom at the tournament hotel. Apparently rumor now has it that you won't allow anyone to see your eyes-ever. In fact, according to this knowledgeable source, you even sleep and shower with your glasses on in case someone unexpectedly walks in...one of them said she'd seen your eyes for herself two years ago and could only describe them as 'ferocious and roving,' and 'burning white-hot with a primal, raw wildness."
Reputation

"You know what they say, Queenie: ALWAYS bet like you have a pair."
Gambling

"I don't think I heard the same ending you did. Maybe you should tell it again."
Misunderstanding

"I don't need to look at your primal, white-hot, mutant pirate eyes, big guy. Just forget that I'm there, and I'll try to block out the fact that I ever met you. Basically we'll just act like we do every day."
Detachment

"Once the principals in their party are seated, with those lower on the totem pole left to grumble and move on to find another table, our once-cozy booth transforms into a damp fusion of vacuous wretchedness, with the three women all complaining alternately about their wet hair/clothes and their respective distance from Talon, while the man himself is trying to maneuver his Paul Bunyan frame way too close to me."
Party

"After one and a half cocktails, finding the appropriate response is a bit of a challenge. I finally say, 'Thank you for inviting me,' and leave the less desirable 'Want to play strip poker?' in the unscrupulous part of my brain where it belongs."
Restraint
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