"I know God is real."

God,

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"God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal."

Samuel Butler, British Poet

God, Work

"To know God better is only to realize how impossible it is that we should ever know him at all. I know not which is more childish to deny him, or define him."

Samuel Butler, British Poet

God,

"An omnipotent God is the only being with no reason to lie."

Mason Cooley, American Writer

God, Lie, Being, Reason

"Small amounts of philosophy lead to atheism, but larger amounts bring us back to God."

Francis Bacon, English Philosopher

God, Atheism, Philosophy

"The gods are watching, but idly, yawning."

Mason Cooley, American Writer

God, Gods

"God is not on the side of the big battalions, but on the side of those who shoot best."

Voltaire, French Writer

God,

"Reason is God's crowning gift to man."

Sophocles, Greek Poet

God, Man, Reason

"If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent Him."

Voltaire, French Writer

God,

"The reader becomes God, for all textual purposes. I see your eyes glazing over, so I'll hush."

David Foster Wallace, American Writer

God, Eyes

"It is quite true, as some poets said, that the God who created man must have had a sinister sense of humor, creating him a reasonable being, yet forcing him to take this ridiculous posture, and driving him with blind craving for this ridiculous performance."

David Herbert Lawrence, English Writer

God, Humor, Performance, Being

Explore more quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

"For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors."

Family

"I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did."

Father

"Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?"

People

"Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist."

People

"If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck."

Home

"Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door."

Baby

"I really don't require a whole lot in life."

Life

"If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck."

Television

"You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more."

Moon

"If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'"

Family