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"By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth."
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"Because you're not what I would have you be, I blind myself to who, in truth, you are."

"A priest is he who lives solely in the realm of the invisible, for whom all that is visible has only the truth of an allegory."

"What then in the last resort are the truths of mankind? They are the irrefutable errors of mankind."
Explore more quotes by George Carlin

"I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect."

"He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly."

"Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty.I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be."

"Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?"

"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck."

"Gotta have my make up, in case I run into Joey and he wants to beat the shit out of me. Gotta look my best! Maybe he'll punch me repeatedly in the kidneys and the stomach so it doesn't mark up my face. He's so thoughtful!"

"This is a lttle prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess if they are going to force those kids to pray in schools they might as well have a nice prayer like this: Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands, thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. Crown thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. Amen and Awomen."
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