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"Look, there is nothing you can say about this show that I don't already know"
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"Mind you, the Elizabethans had so many words for the female genitals that it is quite hard to speak a sentence of modern English without inadvertently mentioning at least three of them."
"So now it's space and time," he said. "You ever watch Doctor Who on PBS?""All the time," she said dryly, "on the BBC. And don't think I wouldn't sell my soul for a TARDIS."
"Like they just wanted to enjoy The Gus Waters Show while it was still in town."
"Opera happens because a large number of things amazingly fail to go wrong."
"A good preview makes you can't wait to see the whole movie."
"I think it is good escapist entertainment even though it's bad."
"Video games are a waste of time for men with nothing else to do. Real brains don't do that."
"The world is a stage, the stage is a world of entertainment."
"I've been chased. I've been pushed. I've been screamed at. I've been verbally abused. I've been afraid for my safety. But I did it all in the name of entertainment."
Explore more quotes by Craig Ferguson
"Anyone who's just driven 90 yards against huge men trying to kill them has earned the right to do Jazz hands."
"I knew that I had been partially right in the storeroom above the bar on Christmas Day. Whoever I had become had to die."
"Every day I ran to that book like it was a bottle of whiskey and crawled inside because it was a world that I had at least some control over, and slowly, in time, it began to take shape."
"I think comedy as an art involves the audience as a participant as much as is involves the artist."
"Hey dawg, wassup?' he said, in the strange way that white talent agents from Los Angeles do in an attempt to sound like young black men from underprivileged backgrounds. A linguistic fashion as peculiar as the lisp that everybody in medieval Spain had to adopt after the king developed a speech impediment."
"I think in our desire to create a better America, we have to have civilized debate in this country and not just yelling."
"Strange star - like object over Oslo right before Obama arrives. A gift of a golden medal given by a group of wise men... Nah."
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