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Craig Ferguson

"Look, there is nothing you can say about this show that I don't already know"

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"Look, there is nothing you can say about this show that I don't already know"

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Amber Hurdle

"It looks like to watch a film without little horror is like to eat a pizza without the extra stuff on it. Like the sauces!"

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Amber Hurdle

"There's a huge demand for my entertainment, and I can't meet the need. So I decided to try a TV show to reach as many of my fans as possible."

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Amber Hurdle

"Getting bored pertains only to the stupid people in this planet of wonders! For the clever, even the simplest things of life - like sunrise or sunset - are a great source of entertainment!"

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Amber Hurdle

"I am a professional performer and I only appear on TV for entertainment or for philanthropic organizations, and I consider this a very serious matter that doesn't fit into either category."

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Amber Hurdle

"It's just incrediable if I play a game, I think don't I?If I watch a film, I just finish a book..."

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Amber Hurdle

"Modern Carpet Designs may provide endless entertainment for your guests."

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Amber Hurdle

"So now it's space and time," he said. "You ever watch Doctor Who on PBS?""All the time," she said dryly, "on the BBC. And don't think I wouldn't sell my soul for a TARDIS."

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Amber Hurdle

"Chet Atkins... is probably the best guitar player who ever lived."

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Amber Hurdle

"You name it, we had it. It won't happen again. You're not going to duplicate this show."

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Amber Hurdle

"Actually, one of the TSA guys showed me the Entertainment Weekly with the poster from the original in it, which also mentioned they were doing a remake. Caught me totally by surprise."

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Craig Ferguson
"When I stopped drinking, it was only because I thought if I don't stop, I'm going to die."
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Craig Ferguson
"I'm gonna enjoy being old I think I'll be awesome at it."
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Craig Ferguson
"When I went out on tour as Bing Hitler I would hook up with Lenny and we'd get drunk together. He was always very supportive. He was a big star and a lot of what he said to me had power and impact. Apart from that, I just like him."
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Craig Ferguson
"Sometimes they would just pay me to stay home and not do anything else, which sounds fantastic but doesn't do much for your ego. Its probably a little like getting alimony - the money is nice but has a nasty aftertaste."
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Craig Ferguson
"By the power of Steven Wright's Beard!"
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Craig Ferguson
"If I have a near - beer, I'm near beer. And if I'm near beer, I'm close to tequila. And if I'm close to tequila, I'm adjacent to cocaine."
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Craig Ferguson
"Twas the night before Thanksgiving. All the food's in the oven. And I'm in the bedroom performin' self lovin'."
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Craig Ferguson
"My job is to find the politicians and the presidents and the pompous people who are telling other people how to live, powerful, visible creatures and ... go at them."
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Craig Ferguson
"I've got mixed feelings about poetry cause done well poetry is fantastic. But not many people are capable of doing it well. I think you should have some kind of license to perform poetry. A poetic license perhaps."
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Craig Ferguson
"I am reasonably happy. I didn't find Jesus or anything like that. Part of it is that I just feel that I could go home. I did not feel like that for a long time, but I could go back now."
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