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Shannon L. Alder is an American author and therapist known for her insightful writings on relationships, personal growth, and healing. With over 25 years of experience as a therapist at a rehabilitation hospital in California, she has contributed to more than 300 books and various online publications, including Psychology Today and Huffington Post. Alder's bestselling works include a series of question books and a notable book on narcissism, which gained mainstream attention on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills in 2021. She channels all her book royalties towards medical missions in El Salvador and runs uplifting online communities.
"It takes a female to have a baby,It takes a woman to raise a child,It takes a mother to raise them correctly,It takes a warrior to show them how to change the world."
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"It takes a female to have a baby,It takes a woman to raise a child,It takes a mother to raise them correctly,It takes a warrior to show them how to change the world."

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"An open Facebook page is simply a psychiatric dry erase board that screams, "Look at me. I am insecure. I need your reaction to what I am doing, but you're not cool enough to be my friend. Therefore, I will just pray you see this because the approval of God is not all I need."
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"An open Facebook page is simply a psychiatric dry erase board that screams, "Look at me. I am insecure. I need your reaction to what I am doing, but you're not cool enough to be my friend. Therefore, I will just pray you see this because the approval of God is not all I need."

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"The only way to cry your eyes out and laugh your ass off at the same time is to have your mom or girlfriends present. Without them, the laughing part wouldn't be nearly as fun."
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"The only way to cry your eyes out and laugh your ass off at the same time is to have your mom or girlfriends present. Without them, the laughing part wouldn't be nearly as fun."

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"If the past never helped you why would you ever take it into the future with you?"
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"If the past never helped you why would you ever take it into the future with you?"

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"Being kind to someone, only to look kind to others, defeats the purpose of being kind."
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"Being kind to someone, only to look kind to others, defeats the purpose of being kind."

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"God didn't design your life so you would constantly fall down, but he does hope that you will be brought to your knees."
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"God didn't design your life so you would constantly fall down, but he does hope that you will be brought to your knees."

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"History has shown us time and time again that you don't have to know someone to love them with all your heart."
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"History has shown us time and time again that you don't have to know someone to love them with all your heart."

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"If he's with you, it's a given that he finds you attractive. Don't talk him out of his attraction by highlighting all your flaws and spending your time cutting down other women's qualities that you are jealous of. A real women focuses on what she has and fixes what she doesn't like. She doesn't blame people for not seeing what she doesn't always see in herself."
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"If he's with you, it's a given that he finds you attractive. Don't talk him out of his attraction by highlighting all your flaws and spending your time cutting down other women's qualities that you are jealous of. A real women focuses on what she has and fixes what she doesn't like. She doesn't blame people for not seeing what she doesn't always see in herself."

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"It is not what they say, but the reaction that tells you everything you need to know."
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"It is not what they say, but the reaction that tells you everything you need to know."

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"Never let your fear of the unknown and things being too difficult make your choices for you in life. One of the saddest lessons in life is finding out that your fear made the situation worse than what it was and a braver person stole the dream you gave up on."
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"Never let your fear of the unknown and things being too difficult make your choices for you in life. One of the saddest lessons in life is finding out that your fear made the situation worse than what it was and a braver person stole the dream you gave up on."

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"Your dream is to feel good, God's dream is for you to do good."
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"Your dream is to feel good, God's dream is for you to do good."

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"Nostalgia has a way of blocking the reality of the past."
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"Nostalgia has a way of blocking the reality of the past."

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"No one can change a person, but a person can be the reason someone changes."
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"No one can change a person, but a person can be the reason someone changes."

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"You will know you are in love when it doesn't matter if you sit in heaven or hell with that special someone just as long as they can make you laugh, while you put out the fires."
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"You will know you are in love when it doesn't matter if you sit in heaven or hell with that special someone just as long as they can make you laugh, while you put out the fires."

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"Two people with mental issues in a relationship does not work. It's like sitting in a boat and neither one has an oar to row the other to shore. You can meet your mirror image in life, but that doesn't mean you should marry him."
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"Two people with mental issues in a relationship does not work. It's like sitting in a boat and neither one has an oar to row the other to shore. You can meet your mirror image in life, but that doesn't mean you should marry him."

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"When you spend time worrying, you're simply using your imagination to create things you don't want."
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"When you spend time worrying, you're simply using your imagination to create things you don't want."

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"Sometimes all you need is one person with a guilty conscience to come forward and do the right thing. Often, the miracle you need resides inside of yourself, when you humbly ask for forgiveness."
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"Sometimes all you need is one person with a guilty conscience to come forward and do the right thing. Often, the miracle you need resides inside of yourself, when you humbly ask for forgiveness."

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"Writing isn't necessarily a gift it is a passion. You can write a one page masterpiece to 99 pages of crap. What keeps you coming back is that Zen moment when you enlightened your own self with a few cleverly arranged words and saved yourself a $200 trip to the shrink, by simply buying a #2 pencil."
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"Writing isn't necessarily a gift it is a passion. You can write a one page masterpiece to 99 pages of crap. What keeps you coming back is that Zen moment when you enlightened your own self with a few cleverly arranged words and saved yourself a $200 trip to the shrink, by simply buying a #2 pencil."

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"I don't fear the future. I fear letting it pass by me, without ever trying to make it mine."
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"I don't fear the future. I fear letting it pass by me, without ever trying to make it mine."

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"There are only two ways to live your life. One as if all that matters is to have someone love and accept you. The other is as though loving and accepting another person is all that matters. Often, when you choose the second you get the first."
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"There are only two ways to live your life. One as if all that matters is to have someone love and accept you. The other is as though loving and accepting another person is all that matters. Often, when you choose the second you get the first."

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"People who fit don't seek. The seekers are those that don't fit."
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"People who fit don't seek. The seekers are those that don't fit."

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"God never uses one approach to the get his job done in the world. Each soul has its own way of being reached. He has put inside of each of us an unique song, that only another heart can hear clearly. To wish you were someone else robs another human being of the special blessings, talents and gifts God meant for you to share."
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"God never uses one approach to the get his job done in the world. Each soul has its own way of being reached. He has put inside of each of us an unique song, that only another heart can hear clearly. To wish you were someone else robs another human being of the special blessings, talents and gifts God meant for you to share."

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"The reason everything falls apart around me, but I don't is because my angels keep me standing up."
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"The reason everything falls apart around me, but I don't is because my angels keep me standing up."

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"There is no real bravery in getting paid to save someone's life. However, there is a large amount of bravery in a nurse break dancing at the hospital's Christmas party."
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"There is no real bravery in getting paid to save someone's life. However, there is a large amount of bravery in a nurse break dancing at the hospital's Christmas party."

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"You will know what and who really matters to you the moment you feel you have lost them."
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"You will know what and who really matters to you the moment you feel you have lost them."

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"True self confidence happens when you stop blaming others for not seeing what you love about yourself. Not everyone has the same list of needs."
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"True self confidence happens when you stop blaming others for not seeing what you love about yourself. Not everyone has the same list of needs."

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"If your children know who God is they will know who they are, regardless of where you or they call home."
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"If your children know who God is they will know who they are, regardless of where you or they call home."

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"When you have a plan in your mind of what the best life is for you, but it doesn't match your life, you have pain."
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"When you have a plan in your mind of what the best life is for you, but it doesn't match your life, you have pain."

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"Inspirational people weren't meant to be enablers. They were meant to empower!"
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"Inspirational people weren't meant to be enablers. They were meant to empower!"

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"Truth was never meant to make you comfortable, unless you stand in the middle of it with acceptance."
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"Truth was never meant to make you comfortable, unless you stand in the middle of it with acceptance."

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"The only people that can't handle the truth are those that suffer so much anxiety that they will live in denial, in order to prevent their illusion from being destroyed and feeling more anxiety."
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"The only people that can't handle the truth are those that suffer so much anxiety that they will live in denial, in order to prevent their illusion from being destroyed and feeling more anxiety."

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"You can't selectively numb your anger, any more than you can turn off all lights in a room, and still expect to see the light."
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"You can't selectively numb your anger, any more than you can turn off all lights in a room, and still expect to see the light."

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"Religious guilt will never grow the kind of love you want in someone."
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"Religious guilt will never grow the kind of love you want in someone."

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"All roads out of hell lead home."
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"All roads out of hell lead home."

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"Acquiring knowledge doesn't bring power into your life, until you apply what you have learned."
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"Acquiring knowledge doesn't bring power into your life, until you apply what you have learned."

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"I don't even pretend to believe I know everything; I just believe in arguments God told me I had a pretty good chance of winning, while I was traveling through hell."
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"I don't even pretend to believe I know everything; I just believe in arguments God told me I had a pretty good chance of winning, while I was traveling through hell."

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"When the person you love can't see your love for them beneath the painful things you say when they reject you, remember this: Love is blind."
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"When the person you love can't see your love for them beneath the painful things you say when they reject you, remember this: Love is blind."

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"It wasn't because you weren't beautiful, talented, funny, creative or had everything in common. It was because some men prefer plain vanilla ice cream. It's predictable and a safe choice. Confident and adventurous men prefer the complexity and layers of a sundae, even the ones sprinkled with a little bit of nuts on top."
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"It wasn't because you weren't beautiful, talented, funny, creative or had everything in common. It was because some men prefer plain vanilla ice cream. It's predictable and a safe choice. Confident and adventurous men prefer the complexity and layers of a sundae, even the ones sprinkled with a little bit of nuts on top."

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"Forget what hurt you in the past, but never forget what it taught you. However, if it taught you to hold onto grudges, seek revenge, not forgive or show compassion, to categorize people as good or bad, to distrust and be guarded with your feelings then you didn't learn a thing. God doesn't bring you lessons to close your heart. He brings you lessons to open it, by developing compassion, learning to listen, seeking to understand instead of speculating, practicing empathy and developing conflict resolution through communication. If he brought you perfect people, how would you ever learn to spiritually evolve?"
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"Forget what hurt you in the past, but never forget what it taught you. However, if it taught you to hold onto grudges, seek revenge, not forgive or show compassion, to categorize people as good or bad, to distrust and be guarded with your feelings then you didn't learn a thing. God doesn't bring you lessons to close your heart. He brings you lessons to open it, by developing compassion, learning to listen, seeking to understand instead of speculating, practicing empathy and developing conflict resolution through communication. If he brought you perfect people, how would you ever learn to spiritually evolve?"

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"In the end, you will not see the physical beauty in others that caught your eye, but the fire that burned within them. This kind of beauty is the bonfire you had to attend."
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"In the end, you will not see the physical beauty in others that caught your eye, but the fire that burned within them. This kind of beauty is the bonfire you had to attend."

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"God never ends anything on a negative, God always ends on a positive. Because what is negative about going home?"
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"God never ends anything on a negative, God always ends on a positive. Because what is negative about going home?"

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"A best friend is the one person that doesn't leave you worse off by their actions or yours."
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"A best friend is the one person that doesn't leave you worse off by their actions or yours."

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"Mental illness is not a fraternity or a social club for like minds. It is its own religion to each person that has it. Their mind is their pastor, their feelings are their scriptures and their delusions are their own bible story. To break them free, is to break their faith in signs. That is why so many feel lost."
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"Mental illness is not a fraternity or a social club for like minds. It is its own religion to each person that has it. Their mind is their pastor, their feelings are their scriptures and their delusions are their own bible story. To break them free, is to break their faith in signs. That is why so many feel lost."

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"Her wounds brought her a great source of power because they lived in the same place as her heart."
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"Her wounds brought her a great source of power because they lived in the same place as her heart."

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"You will never know love's depth, until it is gone."
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"You will never know love's depth, until it is gone."

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"No matter how many sins you make or how slow you travel back toward God's valley, you are still way ahead of a person who never made a mistake and doesn't know what it is like to climb out of a pit of shame and rise above their temptations."
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"No matter how many sins you make or how slow you travel back toward God's valley, you are still way ahead of a person who never made a mistake and doesn't know what it is like to climb out of a pit of shame and rise above their temptations."

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"The most important thing is this: to sacrifice what you are now for what you can become tomorrow."
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"The most important thing is this: to sacrifice what you are now for what you can become tomorrow."

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"People that don't know what they are worth will always see their capture's wings, but never their tail."
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"People that don't know what they are worth will always see their capture's wings, but never their tail."

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"Insecurity was never humility, just as arrogance was never success."
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"Insecurity was never humility, just as arrogance was never success."

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"When people don't respect one another seldom is there honesty."
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"When people don't respect one another seldom is there honesty."

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