"On writing Jeeves and Wooster stories:You tell yourself that you can take Jeeves stories or leave them alone, that one more can't possibly hurt you, because you know you can pull up whenever you feel like it, but it is merely wish-full thinking. The craving has gripped you and there is no resisting it.You have passed the point of no return."

"Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them."

"Flowers are happy things."

"Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good."

"What George was thinking was that the late king Herod had been unjustly blamed for a policy which had been both statesmanlike and in the interests of the public. He was blaming the mawkish sentimentality of the modern legal system which ranks the evisceration and secret burial of small boys as a crime."

"It has been well said that an author who expects results from a first novel is in a position similar to that of a man who drops a rose petal down the Grand Canyon of Arizona and listens for the echo."

"The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun."

"The awful part of the writing game is that you can never be sure the stuff is any good."

"Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror."

"Suiffy, have you ever felt a sort of strange emptiness in the heart? A sort of aching void of the soul?''Oh, rather!''What do you do about it?''I generally take a couple of cocktails."

"Sober or blotto, this is your motto: keep muddling through."

"When you have been just told that the girl you love is definitely betrothed to another, you begin to understand how Anarchists must feel when the bomb goes off too soon."

"She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when.""

"I flung open the door. I got a momentary flash of about a hundred and fifteen cats of all sizes and colours scrapping in the middle of the room, and then they all shot past me with a rush and out of the front door; and all that was left of the mobscene was the head of a whacking big fish, lying on the carpet and staring up at me in a rather austere sort of way, as if it wanted a written explanation and apology."

"I always advise people never to give advice."

"Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth. It is apt to unsettle and deteriorate the character."

"Lord Emsworth belonged to the people-like-to-be-left-alone-to-amuse-themselves-when-they-come-to-a-place school of hosts."

"If girls realized their responsibilities they would be so careful when they smiled that they would probably abandon the practice altogether. There are moments in a man's life when a girl's smile can have as important results as an explosion of dynamite."

"Red hair, sir, in my opinion, is dangerous."

"As Shakespeare says, if you're going to do a thing you might as well pop right at it and get it over."

"I have been studying the principles of socialism deeply of late, and I came to the conclusion that I must join the cause. It looked good to me. You work for the equal distribution of property and start in by swiping all you can and sitting on it. Ah, noble scheme! Me for it!"

"What's the use of a great city having temptations if fellows don't yield to them?"

"Luck is a goddess not to be coerced and forcibly wooed by those who seek her favours. From such masterful spirits she turns away. But it happens sometimes that, if we put our hand in hers with the humble trust of a little child, she will have pity on us, and not fail us in our hour of need."

"The storm is over, there is sunlight in my heart. I have a glass of wine and sit thinking of what has passed."

"I had one of those ideas I do sometimes get, though admittedly a chump of the premier class."