"Darling: the popular form of address used in speaking to a member of the opposite sex whose name you cannot at the moment remember."

"A man must love a thing very much if he not only practices it without any hope of fame and money, but even... without any hope of doing it well."

"Age, like distance lends a double charm."

"There is always room at the top - after the investigation."

"The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet."

"A man is known by the silence he keeps."

"A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often."

"Cat: a pygmy lion who loves mice, hates dogs, and patronizes human beings."

"Tact: to lie about others as you would have them lie about you."

"When I go abroad I always sail from Boston because it is such a pleasant place to get away from."

"Modesty: the gentle art of enhancing your charm by pretending not to be aware of it."

"Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure."

"What is my loftiest ambition? I've always wanted to throw an egg at an electric fan."