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"The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet."
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"I mean you got to thank your parents for giving you the right genes."
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"I became a Republican when a very wise young lady asked me how I could remain a Democrat when I didn't agree with what they stood for and did agree with what the Republicans supported."
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"After the spiritual powers, there is no thing in the world more unconquerable than the spirit of nationality. The spirit of nationality in Ireland will persist even though the mightiest of material powers be its neighbor."
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"It still surprises me when I find something in any North Carolina newspaper that isn't mad at me about something."
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"There is one day that is ours. Thanksgiving Day is the one day that is purely American."
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"Ireland is the old sow that eats her farrow."
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"Ireland sober is Ireland stiff."
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"The drive toward economic nationalism is only part of the general revival of nationalism."
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"France is the only nation in which astoundingly small numbers of civilized patrons reside."
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"I raised frogs every spring in our house from tadpoles and by end of summer our house was overrun with frogs."
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Explore more quotes by Oliver Herford
"A man must love a thing very much if he not only practices it without any hope of fame and money, but even... without any hope of doing it well."
Love
"Tact: to lie about others as you would have them lie about you."
Lie
"What is my loftiest ambition? I've always wanted to throw an egg at an electric fan."
Ambition
"There is always room at the top - after the investigation."
Justice
"Age, like distance lends a double charm."
Age
"Cat: a pygmy lion who loves mice, hates dogs, and patronizes human beings."
Dogs
"Modesty: the gentle art of enhancing your charm by pretending not to be aware of it."
Art
"A man is known by the silence he keeps."
Man
"Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure."
Literature
"Darling: the popular form of address used in speaking to a member of the opposite sex whose name you cannot at the moment remember."
Sex
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