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Exlpore more Humor quotes
"Sometimes absurd logic can be amusing and heart-touching."
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Personal Development
"Alimony: the cash surrender value of a husband."
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Personal Development
"Beware of giggle grins, they are highly contagious."
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Personal Development
"When I reprimanded my son for hair like Michael Jackson he said: "I don't see the problem you wear yours like Michael Jordan.""
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Personal Development
"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"
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Personal Development
"Probably went swimming and got eaten by a pineapple."
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Personal Development
"Monkeys who very sensibly refrain from speech, lest they should be set to earn their livings."
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Personal Development
"Igor?' said Moist. 'You have an Igor?'Oh, yes,' said Hubert. 'That's how I get this wonderful light. They know the secret of storing lightning in jars! But don't let that worry you, Mr Lipspick. Just because I'm employing an Igor and working in a cellar doesn't mean I'm some sort of madman, ha ha ha!'Ha ha,' agreed Moist.Ha hah hah!,' said Hubert. 'Hahahahahaha!! Ahahahahahahhhhh!!!!!-'Bent slapped him on the back. Hubert coughed.Sorry about that, it's the air down here,' he mumbled."
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Personal Development
"This was beyond a joke. This had moved beyond foolishness, slipped over the line into genuine 24 karat Jesus-Christ-I-fucked-up-bigtime territory."
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Personal Development
"Some kid asked what a dilemma is. And I replied: When a starving man has to choose between a plate of food, and, a roll of toilet paper."
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Personal Development
Explore more quotes by Winston Churchill
"The price of greatness is responsibility."
Responsibility
"This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read."
Writing
"Really I feel less keen about the Army every day. I think the Church would suit me better."
Identity
"The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries."
Business
"There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world, and the worst of it is that half of them are true."
Truth
"It is more agreeable to have the power to give than to receive."
Love
"In war as in life, it is often necessary when some cherished scheme has failed, to take up the best alternative open, and if so, it is folly not to work for it with all your might."
Leadership
"A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject."
Wisdom
"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on."
Truth
"War is mainly a catalogue of blunders."
War
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