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"I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become very commercialized."
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"She's got feet like boats, whiskers like an American, and her undies are filthy."

"Are you out of your goddamn mind? You think we can take on two hundred soldiers? I know I am an extremely attractive man, J, but I am not Bruce Lee."Who's Bruce Lee?"Who's Bruce Lee? Kenji asks, horrified. "Oh my God. We can't even be friends anymore."Why? Was he a friend of yours?"You know what, he says, "just stop. Just-I can't even talk to you right now."

"I glanced at Derek. The boy wonder didn't melt into a pile of goo, although his gaze was glued to Rowena's chest. Avoiding eye contact. Good strategy."

"Comedy to me has always seemed a social tightrope for the comedian. For all axioms intellectually sound the general public would prefer to be amused, but in those emotionally sound, it then chooses to get offended."
Explore more quotes by Larry David

"Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that people assume it was some kind of waltz in the park back then."

"There are times when I'm driving home after a day's shooting, thinking to myself, That scene would've been so much better if I had written it out."

"In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three times as long as service in the regular army, although to be perfectly honest, I was unable to fulfill my entire obligation because I was taking acting classes and they said I could skip my last year."

"I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of the audience. That's what I'm all about - people and laughter."

"Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate."

"It has to do - I think - with growing up in an apartment, with my aunt and my cousins right next door to me, with the door open, with neighbors walking in and out, with people yelling at each other all the time."
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