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Steven Wright

"If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny."

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"If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny."

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Amber Hurdle

"Some children act as if they thought their parents had nothing to do, but to see them established in the world and then quit it."

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Amber Hurdle

"A man is but the product of his thoughts what he thinks, he becomes."

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Amber Hurdle

"Before making a snap judgment, ask yourself if it really is something that has hurt you or simply just made you angry at yourself for allowing it to happen. It's amazing what 'sleeping on it' can do. A new day sees a new beginning."

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Amber Hurdle

"Everything starts as a thought. Whether you feel happy or sad, calm or anxious, content or unfulfilled is a function of your thoughts."

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Amber Hurdle

"When you take action-think.When you fail-think.When you are in doubt-think.When you have lost your way-think.You are nothing but your thoughts."

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Amber Hurdle

"We may never be strong enough to be entirely nonviolent in thought, word and deed. But we must keep nonviolence as our goal and make strong progress towards it."

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Amber Hurdle

"I never thought I'd live to see the day that an American administration would denounce the state of Israel for rebuilding Jerusalem."

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Amber Hurdle

"Yeah, but what if you went back and killed your own grandfather?"He stared at me, baffled. "Why the fuck would you do that?"

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Steven Wright
"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."
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Steven Wright
"If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you."
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Steven Wright
"If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?"
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Steven Wright
"If warm air rises, Heaven could be hotter than Hell."
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Steven Wright
"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room."
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Steven Wright
"I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died."
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Steven Wright
"Why isn't the word 'phonetically spelled with an 'f?"
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Steven Wright
"I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize."
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Steven Wright
"I don't like politicians, and I don't like politics. I definitely don't want to be associated with any of them."
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Steven Wright
"Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark."
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