"People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to."

People,

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"People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to."

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"They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed."

Bill Maher, American Comedian

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"Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids."

Bill Maher, American Comedian

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"The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won't say it."

Bill Maher, American Comedian

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"I hope that people will finally come to realize that there is only one 'race' - the human race - and that we are all members of it."

Margaret Atwood, Canadian Novelist

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"I'm not sure whay I've been drawn to this subject, except that murder is a subject that has always drawn people for as long as people have been telling stories."

Donna Tartt, American Novelist

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"If you ask a hundred people, they all give you different answers."

Lenny Kravitz, American Musician

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"You can be around 100 people and be completely alone. People don't realize what it's really like."

Lenny Kravitz, American Musician

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"In our leisure we reveal what kind of people we are."

Ovid, Roman Poet

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"With most people disbelief in a thing is founded on a blind belief in some other thing."

Georg C. Lichtenberg, German Physicist

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"Too late, the ordinary German realized that the violence which before had been directed against 'other' people could now equally land on him."

William Waller, English Soldier

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Explore more quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason."

Reason

"To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving."

Life

"There is no such thing as fun for the whole family."

Family

"You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'"

Old

"Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash."

Body

"The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun."

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"Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end."

God

"Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us."

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"I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive."

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"A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking."

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