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Jerry Seinfeld

"People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to."

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"People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to."

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Donna Grant

"Often people display a curious respect for a man drunk, rather like the respect of simple races for the insane... There is something awe-inspiring in one who has lost all inhibitions."

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Donna Grant

"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."

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Donna Grant

"There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating - people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing."

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Donna Grant

"Do you genuinely love people? Or at least make an effort to like them? Your first impressions will be made easier and more successful when you start with your heart."

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Donna Grant

"People do not understand what a great revenue economy is."

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Donna Grant

"People don't want their lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. Their distractions. Their stories resolved. Their messed cleaned up. Because what would they have left? Just the big scary unknown."

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Donna Grant

"People will not remember what you did for living,they will remember how you touched them with kindness and loving."

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Donna Grant

"Most people die of a sort of creeping common sense, and discover when it is too late that the only things one never regrets are one's mistakes."

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Donna Grant

"The real problem is not why some pious, humble, believing people suffer, but why some do not."

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Donna Grant

"I can remember only a few of the strange and curious words now dead but living and spoken by the English people a thousand years ago."

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Jerry Seinfeld
"Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash."
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Jerry Seinfeld
"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.""
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Jerry Seinfeld
"The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun."
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Jerry Seinfeld
"I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive."
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Jerry Seinfeld
"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason."
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Jerry Seinfeld
"My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law."
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Jerry Seinfeld
"Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us."
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Jerry Seinfeld
"To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving."
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Jerry Seinfeld
"It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper."
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Jerry Seinfeld
"I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything."
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