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"People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to."
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"Saddam Hussein has been brutal against his people, but when he was committing those crimes, the international community did not come to the rescue of the Iraqis."
"I think we're giving people something new that people didn't know was out there before."
"Bankruptcy represents a longstanding commitment in this country to helping people get a fresh start. This principle has never been giving only certain people a fresh start."
"Coughs seem very common here, especially among the children, though people look strong and healthy, but in the absence of proper statistics one cannot undertake to say whether the district is a healthy one or not."
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Explore more quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
"You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'"
"Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end."
"The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun."
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