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"Truthiness is tearing apart our country, and I don't mean the argument over who came up with the word. I don't know whether it's a new thing, but it's certainly a current thing, in that it doesn't seem to matter what facts are. It used to be, everyone was entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts. But that's not the case anymore. Facts matter not at all. Perception is everything."
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"It's both a blessing and a curse to see a woman's beauty!"

"We make sense of the world intentionally. Faced with chaos, we seek or make the familiar, and build up the world with it. Babies do it, we all do it; we filter out most of what our senses report."

"I think when you spread the wealth around it's good for everybody."

"The feeling that the world is full of people who think different is synonymous with wrong."

"When you are seeing a person, you are not really seeing him. You are seeing his reflection through the mirror of your mind."

"Being rich or famous does not equate an effective life."

"I smelled silt on the wind, turkey, laundry, leaves . . . my God what a world. There is no accounting for one second of it (267)."

"When you read between the lines, you must have bloody good eyesight because I can't see a bloody thing!"

"I know too that we Americans like to think of ourselves as cleaner than clean, a healthy nation who would never take anything when a recent poll suggested that 65 per cent of the population would risk dying in 10 years if they would be guaranteed Olympic gold."
Explore more quotes by Stephen Colbert


"In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently have 0.0 million dollars."


"In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto on the show is, 'Keep your facts, I'm going with the truth.'"


"I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for breaking the law."


"You shouldn't listen to us at all if you're looking for information. We don't take ourselves seriously on any level; we're just comedians."


"I used to write things for friends. There was this girl I had a crush on, and she had a teacher she didn't like at school. I had a real crush on her, so almost every day I would write her a little short story where she would kill him in a different way."


"Truthiness is tearing apart our country, and I don't mean the argument over who came up with the word. I don't know whether it's a new thing, but it's certainly a current thing, in that it doesn't seem to matter what facts are. It used to be, everyone was entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts. But that's not the case anymore. Facts matter not at all. Perception is everything."
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