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Samantha Bee

"I never believe them when they say that because you really have to sort of be aware of what's going on in the news in order to get the jokes on the show."

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"I never believe them when they say that because you really have to sort of be aware of what's going on in the news in order to get the jokes on the show."

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Asa Don Brown

"Our show was - it remained - you know, kids could watch it and laugh at it. And they wouldn't know - they wouldn't get the jokes. But they would laugh at it. So they tell me now they have grown up and they're watching it. Now they get the jokes. But we didn't say anything blatant."

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Asa Don Brown

"In New York there isn't that weird palpable competitive thing where it's friendly but everyone isn't trying to top one another with jokes when you're just hanging around."

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Asa Don Brown

"You're gonna be like Aquaman? she asked. "Get the fish to fight for you?"Thanks, Percy said. "I haven't heard enough Aquaman jokes for one lifetime."

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Asa Don Brown

"I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once."

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Asa Don Brown

"I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one."

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Asa Don Brown

"I'm not a standup. I don't really have jokes. I don't have 10 minutes. It took a while for me to realize this."

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Asa Don Brown

"I guess they're tough jokes. But there's lots of things you either laugh or cry at. And you just can't cry."

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Asa Don Brown

"Leo. Jason said, you're wierd. Yeah, you tell me that a lot. Leo grinned. But if you don't remember me, that means I can reuse all my old jokes. Come on!"

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Asa Don Brown

"I'm not Mr. Debonair Suave. I'm just a regular boy who goofs around, pulls pranks, and makes jokes. That doesn't sound very hot to me."

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Asa Don Brown

"My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads, where they are safe."

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"If it wasn't for what goes on in the world of politics, we wouldn't really have much of a show."
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"I think the show does better with newsmakers and politicians than it does with actors."
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"I learn something in the interviews from time to time."
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"I don't think the show would be funny to you if you didn't already have a base of information."
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"There are some people who believe that these are not real stories with real people, but they actually are."
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"It's not every day people fly you to New York for auditions."
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Samantha Bee
"The best part about poker is there's no down side."
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"Don't judge me. I made a lot of money."
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