"Wintertime is the best time of the year to get really fat."

Humor, Winter, Relaxation, Life

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"Wintertime is the best time of the year to get really fat."

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"Ma'am,' Augustus said, nodding toward her, 'your daughter's car has just been deservedly egged by a blind man. Please close the door and go back inside or we'll be forced to call the police.' After wavering for a moment, Monica's mom closed the door and disappeared."

John Green, American Author

Humor, Police, Interaction, Social

"I liked that he was a tenured professor in the Department of Slightly Crooked Smiles with a dual appointments in the Department of Having a Voice that Made My Skin Feel More Like Skin."

John Green, American Author

Humor, Personality, Identity, Education

"What is it with you today? says Christina on the way to breakfast. Her eyes are stillswollen from sleep and her tangled hair forms a fuzzy halo around her face."Oh, you know, I say. "Sun shining. Birds chirping.She raises an eyebrow at me, as if reminding me that we are in an undergroundtunnel."

Veronica Roth, American Author

Humor, Sun, Birds, Morning

"In a way, a lot of my humor comes from presenting things that are dramatic or shocking and then people not having socially appropriate responses, having people denying the drama by failing to react to it, and that's a really classic form of humor."

Chuck Palahniuk, American Novelist

Humor, Drama, Social, Behavior

"Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft.When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Crime, Duty, Irony

"Ben, if you get pee in my brand-new car, I am going to cut your balls off."Still peeing, Ben looks over at me smirking. "You re gonna need a hell of a big knife, bro."

John Green, American Author

Humor, Friendship, Warning, Relationship

"Well, while you were in the bathroom, I sat down at this picnic table here in Bumblefug, Kentucky, and noticed that someone had carved that GOD HATES FAG, which, aside from being a grammatical nightmare, is absolutely ridiculous. So I'm changing it to 'God Hates Baguettes.' It's tough to disagree with that. Everybody hates baguettes."

John Green, American Author

Humor, Judgment, Language, Truth

"What are you assholes looking at?" "Nothing," said Radar. "We're certainly not looking at your eyebrows."

John Green, American Author

Humor, Observation, Social, Life

"If God had a wife, He would be in trouble too if He dodged His chores."

Matshona Dhliwayo, Zimbabwean Philosopher

Humor, God, Marriage, Trouble

"When you put on your thinking cap make sure it's clean."

Matshona Dhliwayo, Zimbabwean Philosopher

Humor, Thinking, Mindset, Clarity

Explore more quotes by Alin Sav

"Good speaker listen more than they speak."

Wisdom

"Forgiving is an ability that can be trained. When you see the results, it s like a drug."

Forgiveness

"If you start to do things that nobody does, you will get things that nobody gets."

Creativity

"If you need only 10 minutes to speak about a topic that requires 60 minutes, then you are a good speaker. If you need 60 minutes to speak about a topic which requires only 10 minutes, then you are a Romanian preacher."

Communication

"People who speak less, they usually pray a lot. I think that a great nation is a nation of prayer."

Spiritual

"Real leaders can change the world, but the world will not change real leaders."

Leadership

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"Ma'am,' Augustus said, nodding toward her, 'your daughter's car has just been deservedly egged by a blind man. Please close the door and go back inside or we'll be forced to call the police.' After wavering for a moment, Monica's mom closed the door and disappeared."

"I liked that he was a tenured professor in the Department of Slightly Crooked Smiles with a dual appointments in the Department of Having a Voice that Made My Skin Feel More Like Skin."

"What is it with you today? says Christina on the way to breakfast. Her eyes are stillswollen from sleep and her tangled hair forms a fuzzy halo around her face."Oh, you know, I say. "Sun shining. Birds chirping.She raises an eyebrow at me, as if reminding me that we are in an undergroundtunnel."

"In a way, a lot of my humor comes from presenting things that are dramatic or shocking and then people not having socially appropriate responses, having people denying the drama by failing to react to it, and that's a really classic form of humor."

"Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft.When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big."

"Ben, if you get pee in my brand-new car, I am going to cut your balls off."Still peeing, Ben looks over at me smirking. "You re gonna need a hell of a big knife, bro."

"What are you assholes looking at?" "Nothing," said Radar. "We're certainly not looking at your eyebrows."

"If God had a wife, He would be in trouble too if He dodged His chores."

"When you put on your thinking cap make sure it's clean."

Explore more quotes by Alin Sav

"Good speaker listen more than they speak."

"Forgiving is an ability that can be trained. When you see the results, it s like a drug."

"If you start to do things that nobody does, you will get things that nobody gets."

"If you need only 10 minutes to speak about a topic that requires 60 minutes, then you are a good speaker. If you need 60 minutes to speak about a topic which requires only 10 minutes, then you are a Romanian preacher."

"People who speak less, they usually pray a lot. I think that a great nation is a nation of prayer."

"Real leaders can change the world, but the world will not change real leaders."

"What is done in God is done forever."

"Be as good as you would want to follow yourself."

"It s never too late to save time."

"Jesus is not just "faith", it s a true reality, but we just don t get it."