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"I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them."
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"Photo shoots for underage girls are like letting an ant walk around with honey."
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Personal Development
"If you think about it now, it's kind of ridiculous. All these hot girls on Baywatch in tiny little red bathing suits running around saving lives."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I got along better with the guys than with the girls. Only two girls came up to talk to me. Later I found out they were telling their boyfriends, 'If you talk to her, I'll kill you.' It's always rough with that high school thing."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Now I know why guys like to hug girls. You guys just want to cop a feel. I can't believe that I've fallen for it all these years!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"The girls want to see the rips on your stomach - they like that."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm getting better now, but I used to be incredibly awkward with girls. I think any guy who says 'I've never had an awkward moment with a girl' is a liar."
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Personal Development
"I absolutely hate Take That, East 17, the Spice Girls."
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Personal Development
"I'm attracted to long-legged girls with long arms and a little head."
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Personal Development
"Girls can wear jeans, cut their hair short, wear shirts and boots, 'cause it's okay to be a boy, but for a boy to look like a girl is degrading."
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Personal Development
"I can't do some of the songs that younger girls like Mary J. Blige and Beyonce are doing. They have their own place and I have my own place."
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"Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty, not dirty."
Want
"They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my gall bladder, they examined everything inside of me. Know what they decided? I need glasses."
Day
"I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink."
Distrust
"Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest."
Friendship
"I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them."
Girls
"The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love."
Love
"If you want to make a dangerous man your friend, let him do you a favor."
Friendship
"A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on."
Man
"We can afford almost any mistake once."
Mistake
"Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants on."
Feet
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