"Idiots are of two kinds: those who try to be smart and those who think they are smart."

Humor, Intelligence, Ignorance, Observation

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"Idiots are of two kinds: those who try to be smart and those who think they are smart."

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"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Laughter, Wisdom, Mortality

"Pessimist - one who when he has the choice of two evils chooses both."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Pessimism, Evil, Choice, Irony

"Pardon my French if you're a religious man.''I am,' Bill said, grinning.'Then get outta my cab and go to fucking church,' the cabbie said, and they both burst out laughing."

Stephen King, American Author

Humor, Faith, Truth, Wisdom

"Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? Youtake delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves.""You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. Theyare my old friends. I have heard you mention them with considerationthese last twenty years at least."

Jane Austen, British Writer

Humor, Marriage, Family, Nerves

"You can be a little ungrammatical if you come from the right part of the country."

Robert Frost, American Poet

Humor, Country, Right

"April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, April, Fool, Day

"Did you hear what I was playing, Lane?I didn't think it polite to listen, sir."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Politeness, Listening, Conversation

"Never try to out-stubborn a cat."

Robert A. Heinlein, American Writer

Humor, Animals, Cats, Wisdom

"In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, God, Idiots, Practice, School

"I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries."

Stephen King, American Author

Humor, Literary

Explore more quotes by Raheel Farooq

"Every cure for nostalgia is obsolete."

Reflection

"Real comedy is not when you laugh at an idiot, it's when the idiot laughs at you."

Humor

"Hundreds of wise men cannot make the world a heaven, but one idiot is enough to turn it into a hell."

Society

"Logic is a mere iceberg in the Mediterranean of wisdom."

Philosophy

"The missing link between humans and apes? It's certainly those brutes who haven't yet learned to respect privacy."

Ethics

"The problem with the world is that everyone does not have a brain, but everyone does have a tongue."

Social

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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

"Pessimist - one who when he has the choice of two evils chooses both."

"Pardon my French if you're a religious man.''I am,' Bill said, grinning.'Then get outta my cab and go to fucking church,' the cabbie said, and they both burst out laughing."

"You can be a little ungrammatical if you come from the right part of the country."

"April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four."

"Did you hear what I was playing, Lane?I didn't think it polite to listen, sir."

"Never try to out-stubborn a cat."

"In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards."

"I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries."

Explore more quotes by Raheel Farooq

"Every cure for nostalgia is obsolete."

"Real comedy is not when you laugh at an idiot, it's when the idiot laughs at you."

"Hundreds of wise men cannot make the world a heaven, but one idiot is enough to turn it into a hell."

"Logic is a mere iceberg in the Mediterranean of wisdom."

"The missing link between humans and apes? It's certainly those brutes who haven't yet learned to respect privacy."

"The ordeal is not that truth does not win, it is that it wins in the end."

"Children are prophets of nature."

"Intelligence is to spot paradoxes. Wisdom is to live by them."

"Life is not how we lead it. It is how children are born to lead it."

"The problem with the world is that everyone does not have a brain, but everyone does have a tongue."