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"Some circumstantial evidence is very strong as when you find a trout in the milk."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
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Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
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Personal Development
"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."
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Personal Development
"Don't ask for a girl's hand in marriage and forget to ask for her leg too."
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Personal Development
"Papa, potatoes, poultry, prunes and prism, are all very good words for the lips."
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"Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake."
Dream
"The language of excitement is at best picturesque merely. You must be calm before you can utter oracles."
Communication
"It is too late to be studying Hebrew; it is more important to understand even the slang of today."
Wisdom
"It is not desirable to cultivate a respect for the law, so much as for the right."
Justice
"I have a great deal of company in the house, especially in the morning when nobody calls."
Humor
"Is the babe young? When I behold it, it seems more venerable than the oldest man."
Life
"That man is rich whose pleasures are the cheapest."
Wisdom
"The cost of a thing is the amount of what I will call life which is required to be exchanged for it, immediately or in the long run."
Wisdom
"Ignorance and bungling with love are better than wisdom and skill without."
Love
"I mean that they (students) should not play life, or study it merely, while the community supports them at this expensive game, but earnestly live it from beginning to end. How could youths better learn to live than by at once trying the experiment of living? Methinks this would exercise their minds as much as mathematics."
Reflection
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