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"I have a great deal of company in the house, especially in the morning when nobody calls."
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Exlpore more Humor quotes
"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."
"I've accepted the fact I have mental illness but when my imaginary friends start calling me crazy that's where I draw the line."
"Hey, guard! Ian hollered out loud. "Do you think we could get a bathroom break? The guard seemed to snicker as he pointed to the grass outside the cell. Eena smirked at how dead-on her thoughts had been after all. "Come on, Ian complained. "She can't do that, she's a girl. The soldier smiled wryly, a shrug communicating his indifference. Eena laughed in her mind. (I don't know what you think's so funny. You're the one who's gotta pee.) Oddly enough, that fact just made her laugh even more."
"Did you talk to him about it?""Oh, sure. Nothing happened, yadda yadda. The usual. But my maydar went off like crazy.""Maydar?""As in, he may be thinking about super hot sex with her. Like radar, only not as sure."
"Crap, are you thinking what I'm thinking?""I'm thinking we have about fifteen vampires and no blood," Claire said. "Is that it?""No, I was thinking we're out of chips. Of course that's what I was thinking."
"Life is too hard to maintain a constantly serious outlook. You have to laugh at yourself and the world now and then-see humor in undesirable circumstances, even harsh situations-or you will either rot from the inside or go stark-raving mad. Humor is power against the worst oppression. It lightens heavy burdens; it allows one to smile while in agony; it eases excruciating pains. In short, humor makes the intolerable tolerable."
Explore more quotes by Henry David Thoreau
"I am sorry to think that you do not get a man's most effective criticism until you provoke him. Severe truth is expressed with some bitterness."
"True friendship can afford true knowledge. It does not depend on darkness and ignorance."
"A distinguished clergyman told me that he chose the profession of a clergyman because it afforded the most leisure for literary pursuits. I would recommend to him the profession of a governor."
"Society is commonly too cheap. We meet at very short intervals, not having had time to acquire any new value for each other.We meet at meals three times a day, and give each other a new taste of that musty old cheese that we are. We have had to agree on a certain set of rules, called etiquette and politeness, to make this frequent meeting tolerable and that we need not come to open war. We meet at the post office, and at the sociable, and at the fireside every night; we live thick and are in each other's way, and stumble over one another, and I think that we thus lose some respect for one another."
"There are certain pursuits which, if not wholly poetic and true, do at least suggest a nobler and finer relation to nature than we know. The keeping of bees, for instance."
"The silence rings-it is musical & thrills me. A night in which the silence was audible-I hear the unspeakable."
"They who suspect a Mephistophiles, or sneering, satirical devil, under all, have not learned the secret of true humor, which sympathizes with gods themselves, in view of their grotesque, half-finished creatures."
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