"I have a great deal of company in the house, especially in the morning when nobody calls."

Humor, Company

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"I have a great deal of company in the house, especially in the morning when nobody calls."

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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

Anthony Liccione, American Author

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"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

Michael Bassey Johnson, Nigerian Philosopher

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"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"

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"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

Richelle Mead, American Author

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"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

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"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."

Matshona Dhliwayo, Zimbabwean Philosopher

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"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"

Chuck Palahniuk, American Novelist

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"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."

Rick Riordan, American Novelist

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"Don't ask for a girl's hand in marriage and forget to ask for her leg too."

Matshona Dhliwayo, Zimbabwean Philosopher

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"Papa, potatoes, poultry, prunes and prism, are all very good words for the lips."

Charles Dickens, English Novelist

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"Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake."

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"I have a great deal of company in the house, especially in the morning when nobody calls."

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"That man is the richest whose pleasures are the cheapest."

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"The cost of a thing is the amount of what I will call life which is required to be exchanged for it, immediately or in the long run."

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