"I have a great deal of company in the house, especially in the morning when nobody calls."

Humor, Company

7

Create Your Own Wallpaper

Standard

Customized

"I have a great deal of company in the house, especially in the morning when nobody calls."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"

John Green, American Author

Humor, Social, Truth, Life

"CHARTERIS [unfolding his arms in terror] No, please. Dont. As a philosopher, it's my business to tell other people the truth; but it's not their business to tell it to me. I dont like it: it hurts."

George Bernard Shaw, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Philosophy, Truth, Hurt, Irony

"How was I supposed to know 'lucked out' means 'I got screwed over' in Australian?"

Elle Lothlorien, American Novelist

Humor, Culture, Observation, Learning

"I believe the phrase you're looking for is 'too much money and not enough things to spend it on."

Elle Lothlorien, American Novelist

Humor, Wealth, Excess, Irony, Consumption

"Where did you find that one?''I have no idea. I'm a magnet for crazies, I guess.''They must be able to sense a kindred spirit.''Your one to talk. Don't you have more hordes of the undead to lead in a glorious revolution?''Zombies not undead. There's a fine distinction. And no. Right now I'm scouting new talent. The glorious revolution comes tomorrow."

Kiersten White, American Author

Humor, Fiction, Creativity, Observation

"A good joke doesn't necessarily need appreciation from others. One can freely laugh at one's own deserving jokes."

Pawan Mishra, Indian Author

Humor, Truth, Observation, Happiness

"He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice."

Albert Einstein, German Scientist

Humor, Contempt, Music, Order

"Vampires. Honestly, they're like children sometimes."

Richelle Mead, American Author

Humor, Imagination, Fantasy, Childlike

"When the first book out my sister-in-law read it and we were chatting at 5 o'clock in the afternoon and she said, "Oh my God, chapter six, sex and a murder," and her five year old wandered into the kitchen and said, "Sixty hamburgers?"

Sara Sheridan, Scottish Author

Humor, Writing, Family, Books

"Let's put it this way: you know how we always told you that all those years of tormenting four sisters turned you into a closet sadist? Well, if you ever decide that being a lawyer isn't bringing you the kind of gratification you were hoping for, then I think I found the perfect job for you."

Elle Lothlorien, American Novelist

Humor, Sarcasm, Career, Personality

Explore more quotes by Henry David Thoreau

"If you can speak what you will never hear, if you can write what you will never read, you have done rare things."

Wisdom

"A truly good book teaches me better than to read it. I must soon lay it down, and commence living on its hint. What I began by reading, I must finish by acting."

Wisdom

"It is not desirable to cultivate a respect for the law, so much as for the right."

Justice

"A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone."

Wisdom

"Nature puts no question and answers none which we mortals ask. She has long ago taken her resolution."

Nature

7

Standard

Customized

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"

"CHARTERIS [unfolding his arms in terror] No, please. Dont. As a philosopher, it's my business to tell other people the truth; but it's not their business to tell it to me. I dont like it: it hurts."

"How was I supposed to know 'lucked out' means 'I got screwed over' in Australian?"

"I believe the phrase you're looking for is 'too much money and not enough things to spend it on."

"A good joke doesn't necessarily need appreciation from others. One can freely laugh at one's own deserving jokes."

"He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice."

"Vampires. Honestly, they're like children sometimes."

"When the first book out my sister-in-law read it and we were chatting at 5 o'clock in the afternoon and she said, "Oh my God, chapter six, sex and a murder," and her five year old wandered into the kitchen and said, "Sixty hamburgers?"

"Let's put it this way: you know how we always told you that all those years of tormenting four sisters turned you into a closet sadist? Well, if you ever decide that being a lawyer isn't bringing you the kind of gratification you were hoping for, then I think I found the perfect job for you."

Explore more quotes by Henry David Thoreau

"If you can speak what you will never hear, if you can write what you will never read, you have done rare things."

"A truly good book teaches me better than to read it. I must soon lay it down, and commence living on its hint. What I began by reading, I must finish by acting."

"It is not desirable to cultivate a respect for the law, so much as for the right."

"A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone."

"Nature puts no question and answers none which we mortals ask. She has long ago taken her resolution."

"Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads."

"That man is rich whose pleasures are the cheapest."

"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth."

"Live your life, do your work, then take your hat."

"Being is the great explainer."