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"We have defeated Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The good news is Iraq is ours, and the bad news is Iraq is ours."
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"Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages. I'm telling you this guy has more positions than Paris Hilton."
Gay
"No one knows if Saddam is still alive. They keep showing old footage of him on TV saying that it's live. You know, it's like the same thing we do with Dick Cheney."
Old
"Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for governor since Janet Reno."
Body
"Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?"
Health
"For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home."
Home
"People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine."
People
"It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what everybody thinks he said."
Race
"Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees."
Change
"A lot of folks are still demanding more evidence before they actually consider Iraq a threat. For example, France wants more evidence. And you know I'm thinking, the last time France wanted more evidence they rolled right through Paris with the German flag."
Time
"Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It's all part of Woody's plan to grow his own wives."
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"The U.S. couldn't even get rid of Saddam Hussein. And we all know that the EU is just a passing fad. They'll be killing each other again in less than a year. I'm sick to death of all these fascist lawsuits."
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"The kind of Iraq that emerges from all of this is ultimately out of our hands."
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"We are succeeding in Iraq. It's a tough struggle with setbacks, but we are succeeding."
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"We know that there are various activities important to the insurgents in Iraq that are occurring in Syria."
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"I said I'm the president of Iraq... I did not say deposed."
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"The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack Iraq. Exxon, Mobil, Texaco, Chevron, they're all lining up."
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"I strongly believe that a federal structure based on administrative and geographic lines with strong powers for the federated states will be the best solution for Iraq."
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"The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq."
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"Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please, I used to pull the same trick. There'd be an intervention, I'd make a big show of pouring out the liquor and then there was a case under the floorboards.'"
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"We are not going to abandon Iraq."
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