"The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least four times a week have the highest bone density. They need it - they're the ones falling down the most."

People, Beer, Elderly, University

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"The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least four times a week have the highest bone density. They need it - they're the ones falling down the most."

Explore more quotes by Jay Leno

"Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of LA in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers."

People, Actors, Basketball, Magic

"For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you're average - hey, let's get a pizza!"

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"The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack Iraq. Exxon, Mobil, Texaco, Chevron, they're all lining up."

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"You know what they should call this war - Son of Bush vs. Son of a Bitch."

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"If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology."

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"Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day."

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"The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up."

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"The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin."

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"If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates."

God, Vote

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"Whatever good things people say of us, they tell us nothing new."

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