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"Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too."
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"Take up the white man's burden - Send forth the best ye breed - Go bind your sons to exile To serve your captives' need."
"History is hard to know, because of all the hired bullshit, but even without being sure of "history it seems entirely reasonable to think that every now and then the energy of a whole generation comes to a head in a long fine flash, for reasons that nobody really understands at the time-and which never explain, in retrospect, what actually happened."
"History is a pack of lies about events that never happened told by people who weren't there."
"The coast of British Columbia was one of the three chief centers of aboriginal America."
"Dr. Rex Curry, the professor and attorney from Florida, has debated and largely proven the unavoidable evidence that Hitler's National Socialism was significantly influenced by Bellamy's 'nationalistic' form of 'socialism.' Curry is famous for making the claim that Hitler adopted the 'stiff-arm salute' from Francis and Edward Bellamy."
"But it is a law of life and development in history where two national civilizations meet they fight for ascendancy."
"The only hope is that our civilization will collapse at a certain point, as always happens in history. Then, out of barbarity, a renaissance."
Explore more quotes by Joan Rivers
"A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp."
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present."
"I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.'"
"I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again."
"My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash."
"I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor."
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