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"There is so much that is still silent between Jaja and me. Perhaps we will talk more with time, or perhaps we never will be able to say it all, to clothe things in words, things that have long been naked."
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"If you take a stand [for God] and mean it, you may suffer persecution. Some of your friends will drift away. They don't want to be with people like you. You speak to their conscience. They feel uncomfortable in your presence because you live for God."
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Personal Development
"For few matters you need to be solo, for some matters you need soul mate and for many matters you need society."
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Personal Development
"Our relationship must be right with God before it can be right with man."
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Personal Development
"Was Deirdre right about me purposely wanting relationships that were impossible?"
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Personal Development
"Confession is not betrayal. What you say or do doesn't matter only feelings matter. If they could make me stop loving you-that would be the real betrayal."
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Personal Development
"Go! Yes, You! Go! I will not force you to like me; I will not force you to love me. Unconditional love has a condition inside it but there is no you in me. If I know my real me, then I know your real you. I know your value in me and I also know my value in you. If your value is not in me and my value is not in you, then I will not force you to like me; I will not force you to love me, so go!"
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Personal Development
"Things had improved after he was born. We both loved him with such fervor that it was impossible that some wouldn't splash back on us."
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Personal Development
"When you forgive, you are freed from some of the feelings of disapproval and it can contribute to lessening your negative thoughts."
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Personal Development
"Two ways to treat a girl: Make her feel as a princess Or Make her feel as a slave."
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Personal Development
"A relationship is the union of two psychological systems."
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Personal Development
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"You could have just said Ngozi is your tribal name and Ifemelu is your jungle name and throw in one more as your spiritual name. They'll believe all kinds of shit about Africa."
Society
"The Red Cross irritated Ugwu, the least they could do was ask Biafrans their preferred foods rather than sending so much bland flour."
Awareness
"She cries quietly, her shoulders heaving up and down, not the kind of loud sobbing that the women Chika knows do, the kind that screams Hold me and comfort me because I cannot deal with this alone. The woman's crying is private, as though she is carrying out a necessary ritual that involves no one else."
Grief
"A father is as much a verb as a mother."
Relationship
"A man is likely as a woman to be intelligent, innovative and creative. We have evolved. But our ideas of gender have not evolved very much."
Society
"Today, we live in a vastly different world. The person more qualified to lead is not the physically stronger person. It is the more intelligent, the more knowledgeable, the more creative, more innovative. And there are no hormones for those attributes. A man is as likely as a woman to be intelligent, innovative, creative. We have evolved. But our ideas of gender have not evolved very much."
Leadership
"Don't see it as forgiving him. See it as allowing yourself to be happy. What will you do with the misery you have chosen? Will you eat misery?"
Forgiveness
"There's something very lazy about the way you have loved him blindly for so long without ever criticizing him. You've never even accepted that the man was ugly."
Love
"There is so much that is still silent between Jaja and me. Perhaps we will talk more with time, or perhaps we never will be able to say it all, to clothe things in words, things that have long been naked."
Relationship
"There was something brittle about her, and he feared she would snap apart at the slightest touch; she had thrown herself so fiercely into this, the erasing of memory, that it would destroy her."
Emotion
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