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"When we faced Mom, we saw she was addressing Max. 'We get to know each other I'll get to hug you.' 'Mom!' I snapped and Mom turned to me. 'I get to do it when he doesn't have a shirt on too. I'm calling it now,' Mom declared."
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"The real satire starts when I'm shockingly mocked,not mockingly shocked."
"CHARTERIS [unfolding his arms in terror] No, please. Dont. As a philosopher, it's my business to tell other people the truth; but it's not their business to tell it to me. I dont like it: it hurts."
"How was I supposed to know 'lucked out' means 'I got screwed over' in Australian?"
"I believe the phrase you're looking for is 'too much money and not enough things to spend it on."
"Where did you find that one?''I have no idea. I'm a magnet for crazies, I guess.''They must be able to sense a kindred spirit.''Your one to talk. Don't you have more hordes of the undead to lead in a glorious revolution?''Zombies not undead. There's a fine distinction. And no. Right now I'm scouting new talent. The glorious revolution comes tomorrow."
"I realized women and humor were linked very closely."
"A good joke doesn't necessarily need appreciation from others. One can freely laugh at one's own deserving jokes."
Explore more quotes by Kristen Ashley
"I wasn't exactly good with children. I wasn't bad with them, as such. I just wasn't around them much and, because of that, when I was, they freaked me out because I didn't know what to do with them."
"However, at fourteen years old, she didn't understand that all those terrible troubles the heroines in her books went through in real life."
"Romance novels. My guess? She started reading them early. My guess? She started them at a time where they made a huge impression on her and changed her perceptions. She isn't cocooned, she pays attention and she knows there are no men out there like the men in those books she reads so she prefers being with them than trying to find someone like them which, she thinks, is a fruitless endeavor. That fantasy is far better than any reality and, you know what? She's right. Men are a pain in the ass and a lot of them are dicks who cause heartbreak. And her, a girl life Faye? Well, she knows she's the kind of girl men like that will chew up and spit out. So she's smart and she's not going to go there."
"I looked to the ceiling and told God, 'God, next time I want an adventure, strike me with lightning. You have my permission."
"Bard eyed him like he was manure on her shoes at the same time she did things, like sharpen a wooden stake, something she knew didn't work on him, but that was not her point, even if she was making one."
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