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"That woman doesn't have the sense God gave a retarded flea."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."
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Personal Development
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"My own sense of family, where I came from and what I made for myself is an important part of my life."
Life
"Be yourself. Be true to that, to your heart. Patience. See what happens if you step back instead of bounding forward."
Self
"Fictional people are people, too, otherwise why would we care what happens to them?"
Literature
"When you find somebody you love, all the way through, and she loves you-even with your weaknesses, your flaws, everything starts to click into place. And if you can talk to her, and she listens, if she makes you laugh, and makes you think, makes you want, makes you see who you really are, and who you are is better, just better with her, you'd be crazy not to want to spend the rest of your life with her. (Carter Maguire)"
Relationship
"And each book has to receive your best effort every single time. No slacking."
Time
"That woman doesn't have the sense God gave a retarded flea."
Humor
"I can't believe what a state I got myself into over this. Everyone was right. They said it would just happen, and it did. I guess the best things do."
Life
"Anyone that has character leaves a mark on another. Would you like to leave the world without making a ripple?"
Character
"I know what it is to be pushed in a direction you don't want to go, or one you're not ready for. People say they know what's best for you. Maybe sometimes it's true. But it doesn't matter if they keep pushing until they take your choices away."
Life
"Everything I know, I learned from dogs."
Learning
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