"Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is."

Humor, Imagination, Man, Sense

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"Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Ma'am,' Augustus said, nodding toward her, 'your daughter's car has just been deservedly egged by a blind man. Please close the door and go back inside or we'll be forced to call the police.' After wavering for a moment, Monica's mom closed the door and disappeared."

John Green, American Author

Humor, Police, Interaction, Social

"I liked that he was a tenured professor in the Department of Slightly Crooked Smiles with a dual appointments in the Department of Having a Voice that Made My Skin Feel More Like Skin."

John Green, American Author

Humor, Personality, Identity, Education

"What is it with you today? says Christina on the way to breakfast. Her eyes are stillswollen from sleep and her tangled hair forms a fuzzy halo around her face."Oh, you know, I say. "Sun shining. Birds chirping.She raises an eyebrow at me, as if reminding me that we are in an undergroundtunnel."

Veronica Roth, American Author

Humor, Sun, Birds, Morning

"In a way, a lot of my humor comes from presenting things that are dramatic or shocking and then people not having socially appropriate responses, having people denying the drama by failing to react to it, and that's a really classic form of humor."

Chuck Palahniuk, American Novelist

Humor, Drama, Social, Behavior

"Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft.When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Crime, Duty, Irony

"Ben, if you get pee in my brand-new car, I am going to cut your balls off."Still peeing, Ben looks over at me smirking. "You re gonna need a hell of a big knife, bro."

John Green, American Author

Humor, Friendship, Warning, Relationship

"Well, while you were in the bathroom, I sat down at this picnic table here in Bumblefug, Kentucky, and noticed that someone had carved that GOD HATES FAG, which, aside from being a grammatical nightmare, is absolutely ridiculous. So I'm changing it to 'God Hates Baguettes.' It's tough to disagree with that. Everybody hates baguettes."

John Green, American Author

Humor, Judgment, Language, Truth

"What are you assholes looking at?" "Nothing," said Radar. "We're certainly not looking at your eyebrows."

John Green, American Author

Humor, Observation, Social, Life

"If God had a wife, He would be in trouble too if He dodged His chores."

Matshona Dhliwayo, Zimbabwean Philosopher

Humor, God, Marriage, Trouble

"When you put on your thinking cap make sure it's clean."

Matshona Dhliwayo, Zimbabwean Philosopher

Humor, Thinking, Mindset, Clarity

Explore more quotes by Francis Bacon

"Natural abilities are like natural plants, that need pruning by study; and studies themselves do give forth directions too much at large, except they be bounded in by experience."

Experience

"The worst men often give the best advice."

Man

"There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion."

Beauty

"A sudden bold and unexpected question doth many times surprise a man and lay him open."

Man

"Truth is a naked and open daylight, that does not show the masques, and mummeries, and triumphs of the world, half so stately and daintily as candle-lights. . . A mixture of a lie doth ever add pleasure."

Philosophy

"Write down the thoughts of the moment. Those that come unsought for are commonly the most valuable."

Thought

"The surest way to prevent seditions...is to take away the matter of them."

Society

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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Ma'am,' Augustus said, nodding toward her, 'your daughter's car has just been deservedly egged by a blind man. Please close the door and go back inside or we'll be forced to call the police.' After wavering for a moment, Monica's mom closed the door and disappeared."

"I liked that he was a tenured professor in the Department of Slightly Crooked Smiles with a dual appointments in the Department of Having a Voice that Made My Skin Feel More Like Skin."

"What is it with you today? says Christina on the way to breakfast. Her eyes are stillswollen from sleep and her tangled hair forms a fuzzy halo around her face."Oh, you know, I say. "Sun shining. Birds chirping.She raises an eyebrow at me, as if reminding me that we are in an undergroundtunnel."

"In a way, a lot of my humor comes from presenting things that are dramatic or shocking and then people not having socially appropriate responses, having people denying the drama by failing to react to it, and that's a really classic form of humor."

"Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft.When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big."

"Ben, if you get pee in my brand-new car, I am going to cut your balls off."Still peeing, Ben looks over at me smirking. "You re gonna need a hell of a big knife, bro."

"What are you assholes looking at?" "Nothing," said Radar. "We're certainly not looking at your eyebrows."

"If God had a wife, He would be in trouble too if He dodged His chores."

"When you put on your thinking cap make sure it's clean."

Explore more quotes by Francis Bacon

"Natural abilities are like natural plants, that need pruning by study; and studies themselves do give forth directions too much at large, except they be bounded in by experience."

"The worst men often give the best advice."

"There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion."

"Money is like manure, of very little use except it be spread."

"In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present."

"The serpent if it wants to become the dragon must eat itself."

"A sudden bold and unexpected question doth many times surprise a man and lay him open."

"Truth is a naked and open daylight, that does not show the masques, and mummeries, and triumphs of the world, half so stately and daintily as candle-lights. . . A mixture of a lie doth ever add pleasure."

"Write down the thoughts of the moment. Those that come unsought for are commonly the most valuable."

"The surest way to prevent seditions...is to take away the matter of them."