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"There was only one catch and that was Catch-22. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to."
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"Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck."

"Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry."

"When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as "Catch-22" I'm tempted to reply, "Who has?""

"Lots of people who complained about us receiving the MBE received theirs for heroism in the war - for killing people. We received ours for entertaining other people. I'd say we deserve ours more."

"Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them."
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