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Joseph Heller

"There was only one catch and that was Catch-22. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to."

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"There was only one catch and that was Catch-22. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to."

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"If you want to be loved, be lovable."

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"It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens."

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"I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center."

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"When they are alone they want to be with others, and when they are with others they want to be alone. After all, human beings are like that."

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"Anything you really want, you can attain, if you really go after it."

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"Well, I don't know as I want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire him to tell how to do what I want to do."

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"One-half of knowing what you want is knowing what you must give up before you get it."

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"We wanted to do a sequel with Jim and Jeff. They said that the word was that Jim didn't want to do any sequels. We approached him and he said he would do it, but not until next year. New Line said it was too long to wait."

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"The best thing to do is just leave them alone. Alligators want to be away from you just as much as you want to be away from them."

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"All I want are high heels, high heels. If I was a girl, I'd wear a lot of high heels. High, stiletto heels."

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Joseph Heller
"I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy."
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"Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it."
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"I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any."
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"He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody."
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"Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them."
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Joseph Heller
"When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as "Catch-22" I'm tempted to reply, "Who has?""
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Joseph Heller
"Lots of people who complained about us receiving the MBE received theirs for heroism in the war - for killing people. We received ours for entertaining other people. I'd say we deserve ours more."
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Joseph Heller
"Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry."
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Joseph Heller
"The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on."
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Joseph Heller
"I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long."
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