"The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off."

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"The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off."

Exlpore more News quotes

"There is good news in the data the strongest support for priests is to be found among the younger generation."

Andrew Greeley, American Clergyman

News, Support

"A newspaper consists of just the same number of words, whether there be any news in it or not."

Henry Fielding, English Novelist

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"The news appeals to the same jaded appetite that makes a child tire of a toy as soon as it becomes familiar and demand a new one in its place."

Christopher Lasch, American Historian

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"I have a piece of great and sad news to tell you: I am dead."

Jean Cocteau, French Director

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"The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you're rich."

P. J. O'Rourke, American Comedian

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"I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons."

Ogden Nash, American Poet

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"There's an awful lot of terrible television which I could do, but I mostly stick to Have I Got News for You."

Ian Hislop, Welsh Editor

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"I don't know of anybody's political bias at CBS News. We try very hard to get any opinion that we have out of our stories, and most of our stories are balanced."

Lesley Stahl, American Journalist

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"To the old, the new is usually bad news."

Eric Hoffer, American Writer

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"Online, you have things like Slate Magazine, which has a lot of commentary and analysis of stories, so it gives you a fuller picture. I would compare that to a news magazine or the New Republic."

Tabitha Soren, American Celebrity

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Explore more quotes by Bob Hope

"They'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood."

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"The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast."

Dogs, Trees

"She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction."

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"I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality."

Benefit, Benefits, Hate

"If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble."

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"Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle."

Age, Middle age

"You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it."

Time,

"The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off."

News,

"I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that I'll stay in the bar!"

Play,

"If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it."

Country,