"The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off."

News,

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"The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off."

Exlpore more News quotes

"One reason I left local news was that I was tired of the constant musical chairs among news directors."

Jessica Savitch, American Journalist

News, Reason

"The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you're rich."

P. J. O'Rourke, American Comedian

News, Will

"In the past ABC has made half-hearted efforts or, worse, cosmetic efforts, to do something about news and I wasn't certain about what their real aim was - nor am I now."

Roone Arledge, American Journalist

News, Now, Past

"News, if unreported, has no impact. It might as well have not happened at all."

Gay Talese, American Author

News,

"News, news, news - that is what we want. You cannot beat news in a newspaper."

Arthur Christiansen, Canadian Journalist

News, Want

"Nothing in fine print is ever good news."

Andy Rooney, American Journalist

News, Nothing

"There's an awful lot of terrible television which I could do, but I mostly stick to Have I Got News for You."

Ian Hislop, Welsh Editor

News, Television

"It's my responsibility as a singer-songwriter to report the news."

John Mellencamp, American Musician

News, Responsibility

"I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons."

Ogden Nash, American Poet

News, Right, Wrong

"I live in Spain. Oscars are something that are on TV Sunday night. Basically, very late at night. You don't watch, you just read the news after who won or who lost."

Javier Bardem, Spanish Actor

News, Night, Spain

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"If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it."

Country

"A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?"

Humor

"I have too much money invested in sweaters."

Money

"I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there."

Time

"She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction."

Direction

"You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it."

Time

"I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap."

Time

"I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful."

Tears

"Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong."

Crime

"When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in."

Actor